8/19 - Zen Seeds: Pgs 23-25

[Zen_Fire]

Re: 8/19 - Zen Seeds: Pgs 23-25

I am about to turn 43 years old. When I look back in my life and see what I have achieve, I feel very disappointed at myself. All I am going towards, now, I think that I should have done 20 years ago. That is the voice reverberating in my mind. The self-disappointment is so much, that even if I achieve all I wanted it would not be enough to satisfy me, because, saying once again, I feel like I should have achieved all those things long ago. This mind of mine is a hungry ghost for sure, saying to himself that even if he eats all he wants, he still won't be satisfied. Maybe the satisfaction of a hungry ghost is on being eternally hungry, and building pride on it. Strange, isn't it?

That is no shame in suffering, because every suffers in a way or another. The problem is to become attached to suffering, and looking at it as a source of self worth.

[Myoku]

Re: 8/19 - Zen Seeds: Pgs 23-25

Zen_Fire,
I can relate to what you report; being 46 I at times felt I wasted large parts of my life. But thats not the case, never,
I'm sure we just not have been ready earlier. And there is no reason to be sad about it; in many ways. Not only we can
be lucky to have met the teaching of the buddha at all, we also should not compare ourselves to other, or to what might
have happend. Such comparison can make us feel unworthy, but thats just some thought of our mind. At least I feel so.
When thinking this way, there is always something that could have went better, no ?
_()_
Peter

[Ekai]

Re: 8/19 - Zen Seeds: Pgs 23-25

Sometimes I feel I should be farther in my life too. I made a lot of mistakes when I was young but all I can do now is learn from my past. I try to make most of life and do the best I can without dwelling on what could have been. What matters is what I do now, in this moment.

QUESTION: Was there ever an experience you went through or a phrase uttered by a teacher that ultimately led to you not take something for granted?

When I hear stories from my mother-in-law about all the things she and her family went through (I won't get into any detail), I try not to take for granted what life has given me. She has experienced many turmoils but continues to take everything in stride with unwavering strength and peace. She is not a Buddhist but has a natural Zen-like presence with the capacity to find humor in any situation. It is very inspiring and keeps me in perspective that I am lucky to have a loving husband who is there for me and our family.

QUESTION: Can you think of an example of something that right now, even after months or years of dedicated practice, still makes you wonder if it could bring you happiness?

I really enjoy my career but I wonder if this the "right" career for me and would be happier doing something else. I am a good designer but sometimes I feel this is not my true path. Or am I just being overly judgmental of myself?

Thanks,
Jodi

[Heisoku]

Re: 8/19 - Zen Seeds: Pgs 23-25

I just wish to keep my appetite for shikantaza and this practice.... and to let go my appetite for suffering!

When 'plum blossoms open the early spring' this one reality becomes spring... blossoming in an ever flowering universe.

[ChrisA]

Re: 8/19 - Zen Seeds: Pgs 23-25

QUESTION: Was there ever an experience you went through or a phrase uttered by a teacher that ultimately led to you not take something for granted?

Yup: my wife. From Aoyama, page 17, in "Loving":

To paraphrase Rabindranath Tagore, "May my loving you not become a burden to you, for I have freely chosen to love you."

One could add "All that I care for and everyone I love is of the nature of change" and get the gist.

QUESTION: Can you think of an example of something that right now, even after months or years of dedicated practice, still makes you wonder if it could bring you happiness?

Yup: "I".

[BrianW]

Re: 8/19 - Zen Seeds: Pgs 23-25

QUESTION: Was there ever an experience you went through or a phrase uttered by a teacher that ultimately led to you not take something for granted?

I think that every time I hear of someone who has went through a divorce or has had problems with their children I am thankful for my immediate family. Sometimes divorce cannot be prevented, but it seems to cause so much pain for so many couples and children as well. Of course with abusive relationships and such it may relieve suffering. I am just glad our family has had such good fortune and my wife and I have a great relationship with our daughter. I am especially grateful when we have experienced loss.

QUESTION: Can you think of an example of something that right now, even after months or years of dedicated practice, still makes you wonder if it could bring you happiness?

We are experiencing many problems with my father as I have taken over his finances and it has been a mess. He has been argumentative and has said many mean and hurtful things to my wife and myself. I think sometimes that if we just didn't have this burden, which consumes much time and energy, we would be much happier. If he would have been a better father to me, I would be more well adjusted....etc... But then I think that these experiences make up who I am. Put another way these experiences make up what is right now...it is just there in front of me. I find it comforting to just accept "this" right now as it is and all that goes along with "it." Somewhat as was discussed in last weeks example of going along with the flow of the river.

Gassho,
Jisen/BrianW

[Kaishin]

Re: 8/19 - Zen Seeds: Pgs 23-25

QUESTION: Was there ever an experience you went through or a phrase uttered by a teacher that ultimately led to you not take something for granted?

I recently donated my car to someone in need and now take the city bus to and from work (we now have a one car household). I can safely say that I will never take having a car for granted again. Most of the passengers on the bus in my city ride because they have no other choice. Many are elderly, or cannot afford cars. Now, every time I sit behind the wheel of our other car, I remind myself how lucky I am.

QUESTION: Can you think of an example of something that right now, even after months or years of dedicated practice, still makes you wonder if it could bring you happiness?

I don't ever want to "Keep up with the Joneses", but I still envy them. I don't think that will ever change. Nice cars, nice houses, nice clothes--of course these things are attractive. I have come to understand they don't bring satisfaction or peace, but that doesn't mean they aren't attractive. I admit to still daydreaming from time to time about winning the lottery, moving to some private island, being waited on hand and foot. But then I snap out of it.

[Shokai]

Re: 8/19 - Zen Seeds: Pgs 23-25

I recently bought a $98 Ralph Lauren Polo shirt for $19.95 on sale @ Macy's. I washed it yesterday and it came out covered in lint. Almost heart broken, i spent one hour with a roll of tape. Namu kie ... kept repeating in my brain. I managed to ignore the noise and once again have a spiffy lookin' shirt. :roll: Hey, it's soft and confortable and feels real good :lol: