The Zen Master's Dance - 4 - Fukan Zazengi (to p. 23)

[Jundo]

We learn from falling down, and this sentence made me consider that maybe we get up so we can fall down again.

Gassho
William
Sat

And as Muhammad Ali once told his opponent, when the time comes that one just cannot get up again ... just stay down.

The only difference is that we Zen folks also believe and know that we are the whole match, the ring, the arena, the crowd and there is no place to fall. So, the bell ringing is not quite the beginning or end either.

Gassho, J

STLah

[Nengyoku]

[Gregor]

I have had some difficult times in my marriage.

Dealing with all this has had me gripped by fear, anxiety and with two young children feeling trapped in an unwinnable situation.

However, I have come to recognize those feelings, fear , anxiety are all creations of my mind. I can drop the fear, the worry for the future and just do the things I need to do in the present to take care of myself, care for my children and be a good husband.

Of course I can and do sometimes think about negative situations and trigger those feelings that help me to be prudent and prepare for a worse cass scenario but I don't need to live in anxiety and suffering.

With this balance I am happier and have a better marriage than before.

So much suffering is purely going on between our ears. Everything that happens just happens how we react to it is just as important.

Fear can be a friend to balance us from being naively optimistic but living there is not balance. I am grateful for the hard times as they have taught me so much.

Gassho,

ST

Sent from my SM-N981U using Tapatalk

[Gareth]

One of my very best friends died at the end of September. He was in his early 50s, and had a cardiac arrest following a home workout. I did not deal with it well at all. I experienced short periods of equanimity though via seated zazen, mini zazens and meal gathas, and via walks by myself where I would let go of thoughts. I reflected on impermanence generally, e.g. that of myself and my family. I went between this and a view that I should just let myself be miserable and think about my lost friend, his family, and, selfishly, the decades of laughter I thought we had left.

The zazen was not something I really wanted to do, it even felt wrong or that I was 'using' zazen, but the relatively brief periods of letting go and equanimity helped me remain mostly reasonable and not react badly most of the time to little daily trials in a busy household, it also helped mitigate some old problems that could affect others.

Gassho,
Gareth

Sat today, Lah

[Jundo]

I have had some difficult times in my marriage.

Dealing with all this has had me gripped by fear, anxiety and with two young children feeling trapped in an unwinnable situation.

However, I have come to recognize those feelings, fear , anxiety are all creations of my mind. I can drop the fear, the worry for the future and just do the things I need to do in the present to take care of myself, care for my children and be a good husband.

Of course I can and do sometimes think about negative situations and trigger those feelings that help me to be prudent and prepare for a worse cass scenario but I don't need to live in anxiety and suffering.

With this balance I am happier and have a better marriage than before.

So much suffering is purely going on between our ears. Everything that happens just happens how we react to it is just as important.

Fear can be a friend to balance us from being naively optimistic but living there is not balance. I am grateful for the hard times as they have taught me so much.

Gassho,

It may be misunderstood by some, but we sit is a place without husbands, wives and children, no "two" to marry, nothing to "prepare" for and nothing to be a "worst case" or "best case." One might actually call this wholeness as the original universal "marriage" that cannot be broken.

And yet ... there are husbands, wives and kids, good times and bad ... marriages and break-ups ...

Gassho, J

STLah

[Jundo]

One of my very best friends died at the end of September. He was in his early 50s, and had a cardiac arrest following a home workout. I did not deal with it well at all. I experienced short periods of equanimity though via seated zazen, mini zazens and meal gathas, and via walks by myself where I would let go of thoughts. I reflected on impermanence generally, e.g. that of myself and my family. I went between this and a view that I should just let myself be miserable and think about my lost friend, his family, and, selfishly, the decades of laughter I thought we had left.

The zazen was not something I really wanted to do, it even felt wrong or that I was 'using' zazen, but the relatively brief periods of letting go and equanimity helped me remain mostly reasonable and not react badly most of the time to little daily trials in a busy household, it also helped mitigate some old problems that could affect others.

Gassho,
Gareth

Sat today, Lah

I am sorry that your friend died, and that you feel the loss so profoundly.

And yet ... we can experience that there is no birth and death, nothing coming or going ... like waves that are just the sea, that rise and fall on the sea, yet the sea remains all along. So, there is no coming and going, not a drop lost from the sea.

And yet, and yet ... your friend has died, and your heart was broken.

If I may, I will dedicate today's Zazen to your friend.

Gassho, Jundo

STLah

[Gareth]

Thank you very much for this. It was difficult to view it this way at the time, but I do agree.

Gassho,
Gareth

Sat today
Lah

[Chikyou]

What a lovely discussion.

I don't have anything to add, though I'm thinking about it. I am new to this practice and have and do struggle with these things.

This has been a wonderful and healing thread to read through.

Gassho,
SatLah

-Kelly