WHAT IS ZEN? - Chap 12 - Everyday Life - To top of p. 160

[Jundo]

Hi Family and Friends,

We will read Chapter 12, first 8 pages to the top of page 160 (where the question begins "Here's a question ...").

So, what about family and friends and co-workers? Those who understand and are supportive, and those who might not be so much?

Gassho, J

STLah

[Koki]

Family and friends.
All are part of the Universe.
We are all interconnected.
Supporting, non-supporting.
They drift with the clouds, not holding on.

Gassho
Koki
Satoday


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[Mp]

Thank you Jundo,

Whether friend or foe, family or enemy, all are our teachers and support us along the path ... even when they create resistance for us.

Gassho
Shingen

Sat/LAH

[Horin]

thanks jundo... and yes shingen, we can learn out of every situation.. no matter what the conditons are.. especially those situations that are difficult, that may cause trouble and so on, are imo great opportunities for practice.

Gassho,
Ben

Stlah

[Gero]

The part about marriages breaking up got me thinking. And I explicitely asked my wife how she feels about me practicing.
We had a good talk and she told me that it only feels natural to her that I moved from the bookshelf to the zafu. Lucky me!

Besides: when I consider washing dishes as samu, she benfits from my practice on a very tangible level.

[Kotei]

Hello,

with sitting every day together with Sangha members in the Free Sitting Room, mailing with active and ex- Sangha members and every day reading Treeleaf's forums and studying, our Sangha feels very much like Everyday Life and friendships to me.
Most times, I succeed in seeing my life as one whole thing, not separating Practice from relationships from work from sports, fun and recreation.
There is Practice in relationships and work and there is work in relationships and Practice. Of course, I have to adjust when dealing with different people and situations, but after all, it's just me, living my life as best as I can.

I am living together since nearly 30 years with my wife. We developed together and independently and changed a lot.
We're sharing and discussing life's issues a lot and in general welcome change as something good and enriching.
She's not so much about religion and spirituality, but sees how we both are gaining from Practice.
I am so lucky that we have met.

Gassho,
Kotei sat/lah today.

[M.C. Easton]

Hi all,

I was very moved by Koki and Shingen's wisdom on this subject. (I have been following along in the book and finally am well enough to visit the forums.)

My husband is Episcopalian and is incredibly supportive of my practice, even helping me remember to do meal chants. When we first married, he bought my zafu and incense holder as his wedding gifts to me. His generosity inspires me to better understand the Episcopal faith tradition--for which I have also developed a deep respect. We do not practice together, except on holidays, but our approach has helped us grow together as well as separately.

But I also agree wholeheartedly with Hishiryo. As lovely as my husband's respect and support is--and I wouldn't have it any other way!--it is the bewilderment I sometimes see in my in-laws--and my own reactions to them--from which I have learned the most. My parents-in-law can have wonderful interfaith conversations, but the rest of the family who are all Evangelicals largely avoid it. For example, my husband's brother and his wife sometimes come to visit, see my altar, always look shocked, never ask questions, and then--rather suddenly, before there is any opportunity for discussion--give an Evangelical blessing over the meal in my own home. I usually feel hurt and angry by this pattern of avoidance and what feels like an imposition of someone else's faith in my space. These difficult feelings have allowed me to move deeper into my own practice, examining the hurt and anger, understanding it, and considering how I might ease what must be their own discomfort (as with an offer to give a meal chant during the planning phase, before they panic at the sight of a Buddha statue, and asking if they would be comfortable with that). As well as the possibility that perhaps there is no easing it. Perhaps it is a part of the friendship that we all must find our own ways to live with and around.

As Norman Fischer says, "Sometimes the most important friendships aren't with the people you like the best or have the most in common with." My practice is supported by those who understand and value it, but it is truly deepened by those who are different and who challenge me to consider my practice--and my perspective on my practice--in a new light.

Gassho,
Melanie
SatToday/LAH

[Mp]

My husband is Episcopalian and is incredibly supportive of my practice, even helping me remember to do meal chants. When we first married, he bought my zafu and incense holder as his wedding gifts to me. His generosity inspires me to better understand the Episcopal faith tradition--for which I have also developed a deep respect. We do not practice together, except on holidays, but our approach has helped us grow together as well as separately.

Lovely! I feel this too is another jewel for why we practice ... even though we may have different practices, we all can walk the same path together - the path of love, respect, openness, understanding, and acceptance. =)

Gassho
Shingen

Sat/LAH

[Washin]

Thank you Jundo. This is a great chapter. I particularly enjoyed the passage on friendships
which resonated with me much. I was really moved by the phrase that in a longterm friendship
"There's a flavor of destiny".

Gassho
Washin
stlah

[SNPII]

Thanks for posting in here! I am watching! What book are you all basing this feed off of?
Sat2day

Gassho!

[Gero]

Hi Shane,

the book is "What is Zen?", written by Norman Fischer and Susan Moon.

Gassho
Gero (sat today, lah)

[Mp]

Hi Shane,

the book is "What is Zen?", written by Norman Fischer and Susan Moon.

Gassho
Gero (sat today, lah)

Thanks Gero, that is correct. =)

Gassho
Shingen

Sat/LAH