My take-away messages were two fold:
First, we do not do this for rewards. I forget this so, so, so often as I am a product of my culture and I was spoon fed the reward concept from the moment of birth. If I do , I will get the guy/the job/the money/heaven.
We sit zazen to sit zazen. What often concerns me is what I find when I look into my motivations for coming to the cushion: that I will get wisdom, that I will look cool, that I will get this out of the way so I can go back to doing what I want to do, so I can generate good merit and send it to my son so that he will not die in this stupid ass war. Sadly, there always seems like some reason I need to come up with to justify why I sit. I really want to work on this.
Secondly, was Uchiyama Roshi's description of jiko with regard to the clouds and sky analogy. I have always translated this to the clouds being the self's thoughts/emotions and the sky being the Eternal - two separate things, and shooing off the clouds was the "goal" in order to become one with the sky.
This explanation states that the two selves are not two because we are both clouds and the wide, blue, limitless sky. There is self and Self and they are one.
I'm kind of mangling what I am trying to say because what happened in the reading of it was one of those unexplainable "a-ha!" moments that make one dance.
In Gassho~
*Lynn
First, we do not do this for rewards. I forget this so, so, so often as I am a product of my culture and I was spoon fed the reward concept from the moment of birth. If I do , I will get the guy/the job/the money/heaven.
We sit zazen to sit zazen. What often concerns me is what I find when I look into my motivations for coming to the cushion: that I will get wisdom, that I will look cool, that I will get this out of the way so I can go back to doing what I want to do, so I can generate good merit and send it to my son so that he will not die in this stupid ass war. Sadly, there always seems like some reason I need to come up with to justify why I sit. I really want to work on this.
Secondly, was Uchiyama Roshi's description of jiko with regard to the clouds and sky analogy. I have always translated this to the clouds being the self's thoughts/emotions and the sky being the Eternal - two separate things, and shooing off the clouds was the "goal" in order to become one with the sky.
This explanation states that the two selves are not two because we are both clouds and the wide, blue, limitless sky. There is self and Self and they are one.
I'm kind of mangling what I am trying to say because what happened in the reading of it was one of those unexplainable "a-ha!" moments that make one dance.
In Gassho~
*Lynn
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