BOOK OF EQUANIMITY - Case 41

[Kokuu]

Hard to go beyond that, Lisa.

Thank you for showing how it is done.

*deep bows*
Andy

[Kantai]

This is what comes to mind when hearing the phrase, "The green mountain always raises its leg." :
From the Swedish child movie "Dunderklumpen" (no subtitles i´m afraid)

Gassho
Kantai

[Byokan]

Kantai, I love this! Thanks for putting it up.
And it's a lot better than the, um, urinary picture that was in my head when I read that phrase.
Still working on it!

Gassho
Lisa

[Kantai]

Still working on it!

Me too.
"Though, isn't it?"

Gassho
Kantai

[Risho]

QUESTIONS: Do you know? Can you speak the unspoken? Are you guest or host? Is it tough or simple?

Ugh..... Aww man!!! Those are what I thought as I read this koan because it is a tough one. But it's also tough because I was approaching it how I approach a logical problem. If I approached zazen like that, as some daily chore as opposed to completely and just sitting, I would be in the same predicament (which I do at times), which leads me in terms of how I address this koan, and I will try to keep this as succinct and meaningful as possible, which will be tricky. lol

First this koan made me think of how sometimes I get frustrated when I hear koan talks or when Shishin discusses koans. My dualistic, problem solving mind just wants the presenter "to get to it already!". "Why can't you just tell me?????" It drives me nuts. But then I realize that is impossible. Then it would not be mine; it would be like someone telling me how to ride a bike and then mistakenly believing that I now am a bike rider even if I've never put foot to pedal. So in a way, the only way to really talk about these things [that drive my mind nutty] is via example.. to help one realize it for themself.

That is important for me because instead of trying to figure anything out, I started thinking about practice, and that usually helps me to understand in a sense what the koan is pointing to, even though of course practice never ends, and koan understanding never ends, it just gets deeper and deeper, hopefully assuming we are really engaging it and not going through the forms... yadda, yadda, yadda (sorry to wander).

So to answer these questions:

Do I know? Yes and No

I don't know at times from a "clueless, I have no idea about this" perspective.

I do know sometimes because I drop all that, continue practice, with faith that one day I will realize the whole, realized, not-knowingness.

I don't know at times when I live only out of the past -- my mind, our minds, like to create frameworks. We often see things, filter them, solve problems, etc. from our framework, which is based from past experience. But although past experience is useful, it is not completely accurate, and it's not alive with the current moment. So I also don't know by dropping what I do know from the past, and not allowing it to define how I see things now.

I have some really cool examples of that from a professional and personal perspective. Professionally, while looking at a coding error, I couldn't understand why it was failing until I dropped what I thought I knew. When I came in as a person that was completely open, I saw the problem, because I allowed it to present itself to me. I allowed the 10,000 things to come to me instead of me trying to push my agenda.

Second, and more importantly, I was acting like a child with my wife, which I'm good at I didn't even realize it at first because I was just thinking of what I wanted; I think it had to do with dinner or dessert. hahaaha I like food In any case, I paused and caught myself, and I actually started joking and laughing about it. By removing my knowing how things should be, it lightened it all up.. it lightened my grip on the situation.

There's also a practice perspective of knowing. Sometimes I know too much. I think I really get this, and then I realize that's my ego playing mind games. This stuff is alive, that's why it's hard to discuss. It can't be pinned down. It's meant to be lived, not stifled and made into an equation

Also, in the practice area, there was a gradual shift from: "I don't know why I practice" to "I don't know; that's why I practice". When I first started practicing, I was just so enamored with the Dharma. Sometimes I'd get too into it, and then it was like my mind would balance that out with a healthy push the other way, and I'd just struggle to practice at all. It was like this swinging pendulum, constantly overcompensating.... until suddenly, it all just settles down into practice, no big deal ( I don't mean this lackadaisically by the way). That's why the Sangha is really precious; it keeps you grounded, from leaving altogether when you don't get what your ego wants... in any case I digress.


Can you speak the unspoken? I can speak about it in generalizations from my life based on failing at practicing it.

Are you guest or host? Is it tough or simple? It depends on how I approach it. If I'm approaching it at all, it will fall into one or the other, which is not quite right. If I am it, then there can be no comparison. Of course I'm it; but I'm practicing to realize that.


Gassho,

Risho

[Byokan]

...I couldn't understand why it was failing until I dropped what I thought I knew. When I came in as a person that was completely open, I saw the problem, because I allowed it to present itself to me. I allowed the 10,000 things to come to me instead of me trying to push my agenda.

Thank you Risho, I need to hear this 10,000 times in 10,000 ways.

Are you guest or host? Is it tough or simple? It depends on how I approach it. If I'm approaching it at all, it will fall into one or the other, which is not quite right. If I am it, then there can be no comparison.

I had to think on this a while to really get it. This is awesome.

Gassho
Lisa

[Heisoku]

I know nothing in the silence.
It comes and goes in the ease and in the struggle.

Gassho Heisoku

[AlanLa]

Genju... Bro! Dude! I feel ya, man!

QUESTIONS: Do you know? Can you speak the unspoken? Are you guest or host? Is it tough or simple?

ANSWER: Sometimes. Sometimes. What! Yes!