BOOK OF EQUANIMITY - Case 37

[Jundo]

Case 36 never ends, yet now comes ...

Case 37: Isan's Karmic Consciousness

"Karmic Consiousness" traditionally did not have a positive meaning in Mahayana Buddhism, but was the divided, ignorant consciousness of self and our actions arising therefrom. It is sometimes called the "storehouse" consciousness of our Karma, in which all the seeds of our actions ... good and bad ... are stored until they ripen into effects, good and bad. Daido Loori Roshi comments on this Koan ...

Karmic consciousness is a result of past actions conditioned by delusion. Delusion exists
as a result of consciousness, consciousness results from ignorance, and ignorance is
dependent on mind. Yet mind is originally pure. It has no origination or cessation. It is
without doing or effort, without karmic retribution, without superiority or inferiority. It is
still, serene, and intelligent.

We should understand that one’s original, unchanging self-nature is neither holy nor
profane, neither deluded nor enlightened. The delusions of ordinary beings and the
enlightenment of the buddhas are one reality, which has nothing to do with the senses or
its objects nor mind or its environment.

Nonetheless, it all comes down to what we do this moment, our natural responses in this moment, how we act in this moment ... as simple as turning one's head when called. Another famous Koan says that Kannon Bodhisattva engages in acts of compassion as easily and naturally as "a person in bed the middle of the night reaching back in search of a pillow.” In the absolute, all Karma may be swept away ... yet what we do right now has all effects. I am reading now a lovely book by David Loy, "The World Is Made of Stories", in which he points out ...

Karma is not something the self has but what the self becomes, when we play our roles within stories perceived as real ... Whether or not karma is an unfathomable moral law built into the cosmos, living a story has consequences.

We are constantly writing/living life's story with each move of the hand and turn of the head. And yet, says Loy, there is that basis for all our stories which is pure possibility unformed until we grab a pen/act. Arriving there when thoughts and descriptions are exhausted, brought to life with our every breath. Nonetheless, as Shishin Wick note, the best laid plans do not always turn out as we might intend, and life may not go as one might expect or feel it should. The story is not only ours, but is all of us, and has a ways of going where it will with us along for the ride.

Nor is it what you think about Karma or our "ideal behavior" as Buddhists ... but what we do in real life, how we really respond, where the rubber meets the road.

The Preface may mean something like that, for students too caught up in an intellectual understanding of this, one must actually lead them by the nose, grab them by the neck and slap them on the head to get the point across. In the Verse, the full moon sometimes appears as a half, a quarter, a sliver or vanishes from sight depending on the day ... yet the full moon is always there (does the moon actually disappear? Not at all!). The treasure is always present yet (through our actions or just life's twists) we may sink low.

QUESTION: Describe how you spontaneously responded to a situation ... whether with sudden anger, greed or other negative emotion ... or with spontaneous kindness, generosity or the like positive emotions ... and how it had consequences (even surprise consequences) for you and those around you.

Gassho, J

[Sydney]

This was spontaneous and emotional, but I can't readily label it.

Several years back I got a late night phone call from my best friend's mom, telling me he was in the ER and might not last the night and asking me to call another mutual friend. When I did so, the mutual friend insisted I go get him and that we both go to the hospital immediately.

Now this bit sticks with me after all this time... I didn't want to go.

I was horrified at the prospect of my best friend in peril, not even ready to process the fact that I might wake up the next morning with him being dead. This proved as much reason to stay away as to go, it seemed. Plus it was late at night and I was frankly exhausted. But off I went, because that's what you do, right?

When we arrived, we were of no benefit whatsoever but managed not to get in the way. Thanks to diabetes having been catastrophically misdiagnosed, my friend's body had nearly consumed itself. He looked about like my previous sentence would make you think he looked.

Our mutual friend was not psychologically prepared for this in the least, and his devastated reaction proved a cherry on top for the guy who had been fading in and out of consciousness (and death a couple of times, I'm told) for the preceding several hours.

In a complicated bit of "catch 22", I watched my best friend be pleasant to a room full of people while being stretched to his terminal limit. He came out of it all, "staying alive on hate" he quips.

[Amelia]

Thank you, Sydney. I have had a similar type of night, with exactly the same feeling of not wanting to go, but you're right, it's what you do. It's what we gotta do.

[RichardH]

I like the idea of a life as a story, rather than an entity passing through a scene. A narrative stream rather than a thing. The story can resolve in good ways or it can sink low. It is a mystery how some stories have a tragic course of suffering and self-destruction, and others just go along over whatever bumps come up, without making melodrama. The stories seem to start out loaded one way or another, but are never fated to end a certain way.

There is no specific example of spontaneous action that had consequences, but i think of the times when a situation has pushed my buttons, and rather than letting anger or frustration take the wheel, there has been a spontaneous opening where I dropped defenses and reached out with a hug. When that has happened in a complete way, the whole situation and everyone involved also opened. There have also been times when anger or frustration has been allowed to take the wheel and the consequences have been unfortunate. In either case there was a cascade of consequences.

Gassho Daizan

[Amelia]

Something that helps me with sudden outbursts of negative emotion is the knowledge of the regret I always feel soon after, if I am lucky enough to recall it in the moment.

[Myosha]

Hello,

On the Caribbean island of Montserrat (pre-eruption) the beaches are black sand. Our footsteps interrupt hot water bubbling up. After a swim and a warning of current rip tides it's blanket time at the base of a sandstone cliff. A young woman crosses behind us towards a rocky outstripping at wave line. A minute later a wet voice says (not yelling) "help".

The woman is not beachside but rolling out in the surf. My lady friend says, "Uhh, . ??" Running-jumping-swimming while the woman is being flipped, sightless. She lolls face down next to me. Swim-jump-run-up to look into a fish-eyed face. Throw it on it's stomach, reach under and pull her midsection till the water pours out of the mouth **cough-cough**. Gentle shoulder roll; feet towards water, blinking water-eye searching the small group of locals and finds a familiar. Getting to her feet her friend says, "We'll go back to the bar." A walk-away.

Head clear, adrenaline starved, remember to breathe. Tootie (a Physicians Assistant from Oklahoma) happily drawls, "Edward, that woman was dead in fifteen seconds!" Back on the tender-boat I asked Tootie to keep this a private adventure.

Holland-America Line has two Showtimes per evening. As Stage Manager I called light cues and for this act manned the spotlight. Scottie, the Cruise Director is master of ceremonies but, instead of introducing the comedian Frank Berry, he told five hundred guests, "I'm proud to bring up one of my executive staff. . .Edward?" We were on the stage which doubles as the dance floor and. . .it got. . . emotional. Scottie's words a blur when he introduces Tootie who pins a gold running stick-man in my uniform lapel. Standing ovation. Wet tie. On with the show.

As the voyages are 14 days it was two weeks of waiting to find my Montserrat Mystery "Mermaid". Coming ashore I went to THE bar (did I mention it's a tiny town?), inquired, and am told she succeeded in killing herself the "next" time.

Life as it is. Not two but one.


Gassho,
Myosha

[mohamed zen]

When negative emotion or positive emotion appear inside me , I usually keep silence . Becuse sometime i don't know how i express it lol .

But i often i come back to my breath With no thought . So I can avoid a lot of problems that comes from bad respond .

أرسلت من GT-N7000 بإستخدام تاباتلك

[Kokuu]

Most of my examples of acting without thinking revolve around my kids. Looking back at all those times the difference is pretty simple - when I react in accordance with their needs (which may be entirely different to what they might think their needs are!) things tend to work out (or at least I know I am doing 'right' by them), when I react according to my needs, the result is not so pretty.

Maybe I am just living out a story of the good dad?


Gassho
Andy

[Myoku]

QUESTION: Describe how you spontaneously responded to a situation ... whether with sudden anger, greed or other negative emotion ... or with spontaneous kindness, generosity or the like positive emotions ... and how it had consequences (even surprise consequences) for you and those around you.

Thank you Jundo for carrying this one and everyone for contributing,

spontaneously, whats that ? Actually the more sudden a situation arises the more I tend to react like it used to react. Again. again. again. Sometimes, however, little wonders happen. Recently my son (10) were arguing with me about whether or not he had to help with the dishes. However, it took a different turn this time, at some point I said "Yep, i see, you had a long day and are really not in the mood to help with the dishes, go and have a rest". He did. And the next day he was helping, without excuses, without moaning. I need to admit that this had no long time effect, but that wasnt expected. For me it was interesting to see that there are some exits from things that usually always go the same way. Exits that seems to open without any effort.

Gassho
Myoku

[Ongen]

Hi all

I notice a difference in just doing what needs to be done, and reacting. The latter -for me- involves taking in an event, thinking about it (even if it's only a split second, it's still thinking) and then doing something. That results in complications most of the time, good or bad. Just doing usually has less complications or even a positive outcome.

I was camping in Norway a few years ago when I suddenly heard "help" coming from the tent next to mine. I didn't think, just got up and went there. My neighbour had been juggling with his really sharp, thin, long fishing knife and had missed a beat. The knife stuck bone-deep in his leg. I pulled it out, cared for the wound and sent him off to hospital. Only afterward I wondered how I even knew how to do all that stuff (Later I heard I had done exactly the right things). If I had thought about it beforehand I might not have been able to help the man.

Recently I read an article (which I will try to find the source of) about research that had shown that our actions and choices are made somewhere in our brain long before we consciously make them. Uncolored by our so-called self

Perhaps true spontaneous response is a reaction to that first unconscious choice, without our mind being in the way?

gassho

Vincent

[edit:] found the article I mentioned: http://exploringthemind.com/the-mind...ore-you-decide

[Kantai]

QUESTION: Describe how you spontaneously responded to a situation ... whether with sudden anger, greed or other negative emotion ... or with spontaneous kindness, generosity or the like positive emotions ... and how it had consequences (even surprise consequences) for you and those around you.

Gassho, J

Thank you Jundo, I enjoy this book cirkle but I don't understand it☺

I've noticed that one of the times when I act most out of my feelings is when I get angry.
I've almost ruined my relationships with my loved ones several times (somehow, luckily, they still keep hanging round).
A very narrow view comes with anger and there is no thought about what this action, thought or word leads to, the only thing in mind is the anger.

The same can be said of some reactions that come from positive emotions. When really loving, generous and happy, I don't think about the consecvenses of my actions, it's all love.

But maybe one can not say that acting out of emotion is spontaneity. First there is the emotion, then the response. Not spontaneity.

Gassho
Kantai

[Risho]

QUESTION: Describe how you spontaneously responded to a situation ... whether with sudden anger, greed or other negative emotion ... or with spontaneous kindness, generosity or the like positive emotions ... and how it had consequences (even surprise consequences) for you and those around you.

Anger is a big one for me. Often times when I notice my anger it is too late, and it's a raging inferno, but I can say that practice has allowed me to see that and stop feeding it and just drop it. So it's completely habitual; it appears spontaneous (good point Kantai) but it's really a learned way of interacting with the world; it gets tangible results so it has stuck unfortunately (not permanently but deeply ingrained).

There have been times, yesterday for instance, where I was just seething with anger. I knew I was "right". I was shaking, I had to sit down. I've noticed, and I'm not sure if this is my imagination or if I just haven't paid attention before, but when I get angry now after practicing for a couple of years, I'm acutely aware of how powerful, dangerous, compelling and addictive this emotion can be. I literally feel it spread through my body like a sickness.

Sometimes I get angry at being angry; "I'm a zen practitioner, why am I getting angry?!" lol But from a certain perspective, it's a sickness. I'm habitually addicted to protecting my self interests which sometimes blind me and I just think of myself. Goodbye Kannon; I can't hear the world or worry about others; I'm too focused on myself.

Then I've asked myself what the hell is the point if I still have outbursts? I ask myself a lot what the point of practice is. I don't do it in a way to justify quitting or laziness; I do it to clarify my intention. And I think that noticing and being able to drop it and not feed it even though that anger is all consuming is incredibly powerful.

I think that it is a good practice to observe anger, not let it consume but also not brush it off or feel ashamed.. really just sit there and acknowledge it.

And that is just anger. This is a huge koan; it's a testament to the vast work that lies ahead; practice is never done; atonement is never done. If it weren't for emptiness, the ability to just drop and let be, we couldn't act and change from harmful to helpful modes of existence. I'm obviously stealing from what I've learned along the way, articulated far better than I could. But it resonates, and I have to state it.

Gassho,

Risho

[Ishin]

Hi all

Barbara Streisand sings about how "it's the laughter, we will remember". Nice sentiments, but I feel inaccurate. If I were to ask anyone can you recall the wonderful things people have done for you, I bet it would be much more difficult than if I were to ask about any recollections of things anyone has said or done to you that hurt your feelings. That being said I am sure I have done some spontaneous things in my life that were positive, but I REALLY can't recall anything. I find myself in a case of regret about some of the negative things that have occurred because of my spontaneous anger and lust. I don't think this is just a case of guilt, but more in a sense of regret for the suffering I have caused. It becomes an exercise in being acutely aware that any suffering I have caused others is also MY suffering. The ripples are still there for me. I can't think of any major events that are earth shattering examples, though I am no saint. There are the momentary outbursts at my wife, my kids, my parents, cheating on my girlfriend in high school, punching my sister when I was a kid, etc. My point is that these actions stay with us. The hurt, the pain, the separation, the suffering linger on well after a spontaneous habitual mistake.

Gassho
C

[Alex]

Thank you Risho, your post resonated with me. I too sit with anger, restlessness and angry at anger... Inviting my demons to sit with me brings the awareness that I need to be more kind and gentle with myself and others.


Gassho,
Alex

QUESTION: Describe how you spontaneously responded to a situation ... whether with sudden anger, greed or other negative emotion ... or with spontaneous kindness, generosity or the like positive emotions ... and how it had consequences (even surprise consequences) for you and those around you.

Anger is a big one for me. Often times when I notice my anger it is too late, and it's a raging inferno, but I can say that practice has allowed me to see that and stop feeding it and just drop it. So it's completely habitual; it appears spontaneous (good point Kantai) but it's really a learned way of interacting with the world; it gets tangible results so it has stuck unfortunately (not permanently but deeply ingrained).

There have been times, yesterday for instance, where I was just seething with anger. I knew I was "right". I was shaking, I had to sit down. I've noticed, and I'm not sure if this is my imagination or if I just haven't paid attention before, but when I get angry now after practicing for a couple of years, I'm acutely aware of how powerful, dangerous, compelling and addictive this emotion can be. I literally feel it spread through my body like a sickness.

Sometimes I get angry at being angry; "I'm a zen practitioner, why am I getting angry?!" lol But from a certain perspective, it's a sickness. I'm habitually addicted to protecting my self interests which sometimes blind me and I just think of myself. Goodbye Kannon; I can't hear the world or worry about others; I'm too focused on myself.

Then I've asked myself what the hell is the point if I still have outbursts? I ask myself a lot what the point of practice is. I don't do it in a way to justify quitting or laziness; I do it to clarify my intention. And I think that noticing and being able to drop it and not feed it even though that anger is all consuming is incredibly powerful.

I think that it is a good practice to observe anger, not let it consume but also not brush it off or feel ashamed.. really just sit there and acknowledge it.

And that is just anger. This is a huge koan; it's a testament to the vast work that lies ahead; practice is never done; atonement is never done. If it weren't for emptiness, the ability to just drop and let be, we couldn't act and change from harmful to helpful modes of existence. I'm obviously stealing from what I've learned along the way, articulated far better than I could. But it resonates, and I have to state it.

Gassho,

Risho

[Shugen]

Gassho



Shugen