BOOK OF EQUANIMITY - Case 19

[galen]

Yes, it's seemingly a paradox. Yet, somehow, by grace or my accident, it is possible to drop all doubt and pass through. For a split second you forget you're on top of a 100-foot-pole and just step off it into thin air, with no fear of dying. And the next time you try to do the same thing, that pole seems so high again and you are convinced that if you let go you will surely die. So you keep clinging...

Gassho,
Pontus

Now you are getting to damn honest here, you like pole clinging, how about your wife !?

[galen]

These days I feel like a "fair weather Buddhist," hanging out in the Eye of the storm until it dissipates. Very distant from this koan. Not sure what to say.
Gassho, Kaishin / Matt

Hi Matt... it seems your feelings are quite fair, and you might possibly be sitting right in the middle of this koan, as it seems you have said all that is needed (for now). Is not the eye where to be, forever surrounded by the howling outer forces, yet realizing them and their damage at the same time. Thanks for welcoming us into the Eye, I seem to need more of That.


Gassho

[galen]

Yes, it's seemingly a paradox. Yet, somehow, by grace or my accident, it is possible to drop all doubt and pass through. For a split second you forget you're on top of a 100-foot-pole and just step off it into thin air, with no fear of dying. And the next time you try to do the same thing, that pole seems so high again and you are convinced that if you let go you will surely die. So you keep clinging...

Gassho,
Pontus

No pole, no stepping off....... masters knowing the paradoxes are the teachers of the middle ground of being totally immersed in the present moment of Now. Now. Now, nothing more needed.



Gassho

[Omoi Otoshi]

Well said, Pontus.

Over 20 years ago, I spent around 3 years in a home study of Yogananda (people already have heard this) and Kriya Yoga. I did not have a clue and no one-on-one, or a group. I was just coming off a very emotional divorce and went on a hard search to keep from blowing totally up. I got weekly booklets and studied this new thought form and after about a year and a half of meditating this way, by accident, naively fell deep inside, also noticing I was barely using any breath, but could feel out side body parts, but felt fully engulfed. This they called super-consciousness or early stages of Samadi. I could `fall-in at the drop of a pen, sitting or laying, no special positioning needed. I used the direct will power not to think, and stayed with it over quite a period till I arrived in this very beautiful state, and noticed it was there with me out `there with other. By the same accident and naivety, at that time my life was changing with much more abundance on all levels, and not realizing it I had gradually I let all this realization go. I did not realize this till years later at what I had attained, and gradually have gotten back to sitting more and more. Our teachers probably would not approve, and with out a goal to get back `there (its back `there but I am not clinging to it, because that makes it much harder, an accident will happen again at one point), but just recently I am doing what I did then and with eyes closed, this seems to be my most comfortable path for now. I sit and I lay , and it is getting better and better.

Thank you for sharing Galen,
I don't know much about Samadhi, Jhana, No mind, Emptiness, but I do know that it is very easy to cling "special" states. But Zen is not about looking for special states. I have spent far too many hours on the cushion trying to relive some memory, and unconsciously, I sometimes still find myself trying to recreate the conditions that were present before some state or experience. But as you say, it doesn't work that way. Cling to an idea, and you can keep looking forever. Beginner's mind is Zen mind. Knowing nothing, looking for nothing. Just sitting, whole-heartedly hitting the mark, now, now, now. No pole indeed. No letting go. No Zen.

Gassho,
Pontus

PS. My wife always has to drag me off the pole! DS.

[galen]

Thank you for sharing Galen,
I don't know much about Samadhi, Jhana, No mind, Emptiness, but I do know that it is very easy to cling "special" states. But Zen is not about looking for special states. I have spent far too many hours on the cushion trying to relive some memory, and unconsciously, I sometimes still find myself trying to recreate the conditions that were present before some state or experience. But as you say, it doesn't work that way. Cling to an idea, and you can keep looking forever. Beginner's mind is Zen mind. Knowing nothing, looking for nothing. Just sitting, whole-heartedly hitting the mark, now, now, now. No pole indeed. No letting go. No Zen.

Gassho,
Pontus

PS. My wife always has to drag me off the pole! DS.

The clinging to "special" states is your perception, no clinging here. The same could be said for your take on Zen or zazen, it comes down to perception, and whats relative. Like here you say "hitting the mark" is it Mark or Joe, what is this mark you are clinging to. I can sit my way and still be in the Sota Zen Way, thank you .



Gassho

good one on the wife!

[Omoi Otoshi]

The clinging to "special" states is your perception, no clinging here. The same could be said for your take on Zen or zazen, it comes down to perception, and whats relative. Like here you say "hitting the mark" is it Mark or Joe, what is this mark you are clinging to. I can sit my way and still be in the Sota Zen Way, thank you .

Yes, I'm talking about my practice, my clinging, my perception here. What does not come down to perception, what's not relative, is difficult to talk about. But enough talking for tonight. Thanks for the chat though!

Gassho,
Pontus, hitting on Mark while clinging to a pole

[galen]

Please make sure that this is the version with commentary by Rev. Shishin Wick, as there are other translations.

http://www.amazon.com/Book-Equanimity-Illuminating-Classic-Koans/dp/0861713877

Gassho, J

Your opening was great!



Gassho

[galen]

Yes, I'm talking about my practice, my clinging, my perception here. What does not come down to perception, what's not relative, is difficult to talk about. But enough talking for tonight. Thanks for the chat though!

Gassho,
Pontus, hitting on Mark while clinging to a pole

Enjoyed it Pontus.



Gassho

[Myoku]

Thank you Jundo and everyone taking part in the koan study,

What did Ummon say ? To me it sounds like he's pretty happy with the monk. When there is no selfish thought, when there is action in the moment with what is, then indeed there is not much fault to expect. We never know the outcome, sure. But when calculation, when planing for ones own (imagined) advantage not takes place, then we're right on track, I think. We not need so many thoughts, actually, I certainly not. A good 90% is just radio show in my head, imagined future for most of the time. Thats all good, as long as I have the chance to see its a show, and not what is. But I start babbling
_()_
Myoku

[Heisoku]

This body has already taken my wife to work, fed the chickens, set the washing off and must remember to do shopping, fuel a car, write an email to a sick family member, plan my work for next week, take and watch my son play football, cook lunch, finish a rakasu after buying some silk and dark thread, pick up my wife after work and then remember that I have been doing this for twenty one years today(!), yet all this activity is just life into which I have throw myself without hesitation, doubt or thought. Life gets done it, just depends how you do it. I 'know' I will get these things done.

Got everything done! ...and guess what?....got to do it all over again and more!!! Lovin' life

[galen]

The cart or the horse, and what is relative...

Suzuki in the chap Believing in Nothing... "we should begin with enlightenment and proceed to practice, and then to thinking." That seems to say that if we truely can accept the `fact that we are Buddha nature at our core, without just talking about it or meditating on it, that is already enlightenment itself. Most of us only have some `idea about That, read about it and talk about it. If we get beyond the chatter and noise there is a sense in our depths that something beautiful awaits us there. Its right there right here now, believe it to the bone, take off the secure little cover/blanket of the small minded delusions of the ego and Buddha awaits. Then sit (though sitting `now very much helps bring this forth), then think, without thinking!

Later in that paragraph... "By enlightenment I mean believing in nothing, believing in something which has no form or no color, which is ready to take form and color." One would have to read this powerful chap to really get the full view.


Gassho

[Shugen]

So many words! But, that's "just this" also. Can I just read/listen without "yeah but.." hiding the message? Just rambling.

Gassho


Shugen

[Rich]

Mt sumeru is unmoving. When we swallow a hook and start flipping around we make the situation worse. Like hakuin a response of 'is that so' makes so much sense now. The big mistake is making the same mistake over and over. Loving the moral and immoral person is the best way. This koan was helpful in allowing me to see how one attachment caused so much pain.

[Tb]

Hi.

I wouldn't say that you always make the situation worse by moving.
Sometimes the hook might let loose.
The problem is when to move and when not to...

Mtfbwy
Fugen

[Omoi Otoshi]

Mount Sumeru to me is always resting in full, effortless activity. Sitting, bowing, walking, talking makes no difference. You could say that Mount Sumeru is always unmoving and unmoved, in both movement and stillness. No need to worry about going forward or standing still. We're always going forward, but at the same time, there's only one endless moment and one boundless place to be. I never left home. Can never leave home. (Yet, I sometimes feel so far away from home, so alone, so lost and confused.)

Gassho,
Pontus