BOOK OF EQUANIMITY - Case 11

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  • Jundo
    Treeleaf Founder and Priest
    • Apr 2006
    • 40263

    BOOK OF EQUANIMITY - Case 11

    Case 10 never ends, yet now comes ...

    CASE 11 - Ummon's Two Sicknesses

    I would actually say there are three or four sicknesses, perhaps endless sicknesses upon sicknesses.

    At first (this is Basic Buddhism 101), you are a sickly deluded being like most on this planet, a prisoner of the sense of separate "self" with your "me/mine/my" ignorance, feelings of lack and need, hate and jealousy, and all the rest of the junk in your dusty, overstuffed, cluttered mental trunk.

    Then in the next sickness, you may gain some sense of "Emptiness" whereby all the junk is liberated and dropped away ... but you don't go far enough. You fail to realize how thorough and through-&-through must be the Spring Cleaning and Sweeping Out of "you" until there is no separate "you" and "your junk" left. What's more, even if you make a fairly good cleaning, you still see something ... Buddha (with a big "B", the Dharmakhaya in Buddhist Lingo) ... as a thing apart from you, as another piece of sacred junk hovering about. The cleaning is not anywhere near complete enough if "you" still think there is a big boundless 'Buddha-Trunk' that is standing somewhere out there at a distance, itself another bit of junk in front of "your" eyes.

    But then another sickness ... when some folks (lots found on the Buddhist internet), encountering some dropping away and Oneness, get all caught up in the clean and empty trunk (or, as we have sometimes described elsewhere, the white canvas without the painting, a boundless ocean without the fish, the vast blue sky without the clouds and birds and airplanes). They do not realize ... or do not know how to probe to the depths the fact that ... a trunk needs "stuff" to fill it, the canvas needs a painting, the ocean its fish to bring it to life etc. ... and that all are still Whole, not Separate. To the deluded eye, a trunk is filled with messy separate stuff ... but to a Buddha's eye, a trunk and its pile of all kinds of separate stuff are not separate, and neither are we! The ocean is not separate from the swimming fish, nor the clouds from the planes and birds and clouds, and neither are we! All are Whole, Interpenetrating. True Emptyness and Stillness is both empty of things and full, is both moving and still.

    Thus the ending verse says ...

    Allow the multitudes of myriad shapes (stuff) to be as is –
    Boundlesss, thorough liberation still obstructs the eye (if you are stuck there, or make liberation just another object of distant junk you desire).


    And Ummon hints at one more sickness ... that we need to stay on our toes, not be negligent in Practice or over confident. The reason to "stay on our toes" is that we fall into and out of one or the other sicknesses again ... back and forth ... the Buddha's Whole TrunkJunk, turned back to just being a pile of twisted trash jammed in an old crate. Thus, says the Preface to this Koan, even the bodyless, mouthless man who is never truly sick and never ultimately hungry better take his medicine and eat healthy ... because the disease is chronic and never ends, requiring daily treatment!

    Do I get this across a bit?

    Master Dogen wrote in Genjo Koan ...

    Those who have great realization of delusion are buddhas; those who are greatly deluded about realization are sentient beings. Further, there are those who continue realizing beyond realization, who are in delusion throughout delusion. ...

    When dharma does not fill your whole body and mind, you think it is already sufficient. When dharma fills your body and mind, you understand that something is missing.


    If you think there is a stopping place, you have not yet found the true nature of Rest. True Realization is in this living world of delusion. Yet folks have all kinds of extreme and crazy ideas about "realization" and enlightenment which they think must be sought apart from this world. If you think it is about some cheap feeling of "oneness" and "perfection", you don't really get it and it probably won't last. True Oneness is One even with things seeming to be complete or seeming to be missing, perfect or imperfect ... all of which together is Perfectly Completely Nothing Missing! Nothing ever missing from the Trunk, even when you cannot find the shiny treasure in the chest you are looking for.

    Master Jingqing Daofu said to a student (Blue Cliff Record 46) "The multitude of living beings are topsy-turvey, deluded by self and chasing after things."
    The student said, "Teacher, how about you?"
    Jingqing said, "I am almost not confused by self. "
           The student asked his meaning.
    Jingqing replied, "It is rather easy to be released of the self and outside things, but expressing this in living life is very hard."


    Dropping body and mind, self and other, is a simple child's trick. But then, living as a grown up in this body, in this world of self and other, is still pretty tricky!

    QUESTION:

    In your practice, where do you feel you are in suffering and treating these various diseases?

    Last edited by Jundo; 07-05-2020, 07:06 AM.
    ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE
  • Rich
    Member
    • Apr 2009
    • 2614

    #2
    I've noticed and accepted some diseases. And I've accepted all the unnoticed diseases.
    Have a long way to go with the treatment. The cure or answer will appear when its ready.
    _/_
    Rich
    MUHYO
    無 (MU, Emptiness) and 氷 (HYO, Ice) ... Emptiness Ice ...

    https://instagram.com/notmovingmind

    Comment

    • RichardH
      Member
      • Nov 2011
      • 2800

      #3
      The second illness is, in my experience... about checking-back. This persisted for a looong time. It was about a compulsive need to hang my hat on a something or a no-thing, There was no going forward forgetfully.. there was compulsive reflecting. It was that ontology gene doing its thing... a kind of naked fear of groundlessness. It was not helped by consuming too much eternalistic "Zen speak". So it came down to just non-grasping, non-attaining, forgetting.. Only then did the ordinary ground and sane solid earth really manifest... each thing crisply its own,.. trees are green, bricks are red.. with no trace of "oneness". I then became useful...i think, and am becoming more useful. This is all ongoing, of course, and not a slam dunk... practice goes on.

      Gassho, kojip
      Last edited by RichardH; 08-04-2012, 02:10 PM.

      Comment

      • Risho
        Member
        • May 2010
        • 3179

        #4
        I'm not certain, but the first sickness seems to be right for me. I just had a revelation of where I am on this path this morning as I was typing a follow up to Kyrillos' post in the On Rituals topic. In any case, I was building up another great argument in my support that rituals are not part of zen practice. I love arguing, and I felt invigorated as I typed it. I even posted it. THen I had my wife read it; I never have her read anything here. I kind of still keep my practice separate from her, but I was so proud of my 21st century logical mind that I could not contain myself.

        After she read it, she said something to the effect "We all have rituals". I was like No you obviously didn't read my awesome argument. lol

        I took my dogs out, and thought about this a lot. I do need rituals. I accept some and reject others, but I know that this practice and sangha are in my heart so I owe it to myself to investigate this.

        So how this relates to this is that I think part of me is still in a part of the practice where I'm afraid to fully jump into practice because I'm still in need of other's approval. I think part of me finds these rituals weird because I need someone to tell me it's ok. IT pisses me off to even admit this; pisses my ego off. I pride myself in independence, my separateness. This sense of separate self is very strongly ingrained.

        And because I don't fully commit, I get swung back and forth, back and forth. It really gets psychologically exhausting. I think that's why I love Ango and Jukai so much; it's a coming together of our Sangha, and I do need that support. It's also why I took the precepts and sewed the Rakusu; I needed that. Foreign or not that filled me by doing something in practice with all of my fellow Treeleafers that was bigger than myself, not just for myself.

        So I'm still part of the first sickness, so a practicing I must go.

        Gassho,

        Risho
        Last edited by Risho; 08-04-2012, 05:06 PM.
        Email: risho.treeleaf@gmail.com

        Comment

        • galen
          Member
          • Feb 2012
          • 322

          #5
          Thank you, Jundo.

          It seems I suffer the most when `out amongst the people, when I try to control. It used to be a much bigger issue, but it lingers still. When it seems to come back in my face, so to speak, as an uncomfortable moment, but then on further reflection, I realize that moment of discomfort. Something I wouldn't have a clue on in the past. Just the realization and owning it, are a movement straight forward, step by step. That is the practice, life and relationships.


          _/\_

          galen
          Nothing Special

          Comment

          • RichardH
            Member
            • Nov 2011
            • 2800

            #6
            Originally posted by Risho
            I'm not certain, but the first sickness seems to be right for me. I just had a revelation of where I am on this path this morning as I was typing a follow up to Kyrillos' post in the On Rituals topic. In any case, I was building up another great argument in my support that rituals are not part of zen practice. I love arguing, and I felt invigorated as I typed it. I even posted it. THen I had my wife read it; I never have her read anything here. I kind of still keep my practice separate from her, but I was so proud of my 21st century logical mind that I could not contain myself.

            After she read it, she said something to the effect "We all have rituals". I was like No you obviously didn't read my awesome argument. lol

            I took my dogs out, and thought about this a lot. I do need rituals. I accept some and reject others, but I know that this practice and sangha are in my heart so I owe it to myself to investigate this.

            So how this relates to this is that I think part of me is still in a part of the practice where I'm afraid to fully jump into practice because I'm still in need of other's approval. I think part of me finds these rituals weird because I need someone to tell me it's ok. IT pisses me off to even admit this; pisses my ego off. I pride myself in independence, my separateness. This sense of separate self is very strongly ingrained.

            And because I don't fully commit, I get swung back and forth, back and forth. It really gets psychologically exhausting. I think that's why I love Ango and Jukai so much; it's a coming together of our Sangha, and I do need that support. It's also why I took the precepts and sewed the Rakusu; I needed that. Foreign or not that filled me by doing something in practice with all of my fellow Treeleafers that was bigger than myself, not just for myself.

            So I'm still part of the first sickness, so a practicing I must go.

            Gassho,

            Risho
            Oh boy.., You let your wife read your pearl of wisdom?!.... Never do that. They are way more mature, and wise, and can deflate our wise-boy stuff with a sideways look...

            Comment

            • Jundo
              Treeleaf Founder and Priest
              • Apr 2006
              • 40263

              #7
              Originally posted by Kojip
              Oh boy.., You let your wife read your pearl of wisdom?!.... Never do that. They are way more mature, and wise, and can deflate our wise-boy stuff with a sideways look...
              That's exactly what Mina just did when I let her read my little post here!
              ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

              Comment

              • Ekai
                Member
                • Feb 2011
                • 672

                #8
                Originally posted by Kojip
                Oh boy.., You let your wife read your pearl of wisdom?!.... Never do that. They are way more mature, and wise, and can deflate our wise-boy stuff with a sideways look...
                Yes, you are a very wise man for realizing that us women are smarter and more mature with the ability to squash the male ego like a bug with that piercing "look" in our eye. LOL!

                Gassho,
                Ekai

                Comment

                • Shujin
                  Treeleaf Unsui
                  • Feb 2010
                  • 1090

                  #9
                  I have to admit that I don't really know where I am in the greater sense of suffering. I know what it looks like - time alone spent judging, evaluating, planning for a million possibilities. By the same token, I know what my treatment is as well - time with family, and at work dealing with people. My ego can't be in the front seat in these moments. The light penetrates, however incomplete.

                  Thank you, Jundo & all folks posting. I've been been a poor student of late. It would be better to take the medicine and fight it less, but that's the nature of my sickness. Shishin puts it best: Don't rest anywhere; just keep letting it all go.

                  Gassho,
                  Shujin
                  Kyōdō Shujin 教道 守仁

                  Comment

                  • Mp

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Jundo
                    If you think there is a stopping place, you have not yet found the true nature of Rest. True Realization is in this living world of delusion.
                    For some reason this little statement hit me! Thank you Jundo.

                    For me, I find that it is when you see others suffering and you feel in your heart the advice or help you want to give will help, yet they are not willing to accept or try. During those times I try not to run away (emotionally) from those situation, but to recognize that it is just my ego. Silly ego!

                    Gassho
                    Michael

                    Comment

                    • Risho
                      Member
                      • May 2010
                      • 3179

                      #11
                      that's true... Sometimes I swear my wife is the 7th patriarch. hahahahah
                      Email: risho.treeleaf@gmail.com

                      Comment

                      • Jinyo
                        Member
                        • Jan 2012
                        • 1957

                        #12
                        Appreciatory verse - 'To sweep out this garden, who has this strength?'

                        That's pretty much where I am - 'letting it all go' - does not come easily - press hard enough on a sweeping brush and it doesn't
                        sweep at all.

                        (Not sure which sickness this is - probably all of them!)

                        Gassho

                        Willow

                        Comment

                        • galen
                          Member
                          • Feb 2012
                          • 322

                          #13
                          Jundo,

                          Well done on the edit !

                          The references in the last openings of the koans had me wondering, who is being seen through and through.

                          It seems, as you know, we all have our way of processing our lessons on that ever moving train of the Way, and karma seems to teach (or doesn't), thats the perfection in the nonperfection of it All. It had me wondering, when in #26, Wick asserts 'we need to cultivate nonjudgmental awareness' and pointing to 'zazen being the perfect oportunity to practice nonjudgmental awareness'.

                          With that being said, through that seemingly projected judgment from the high seat, lessons were learned on all levels here, and thank you for that.


                          _/\_

                          galen
                          Last edited by galen; 08-06-2012, 10:33 PM.
                          Nothing Special

                          Comment

                          • Shugen
                            Treeleaf Unsui
                            • Nov 2007
                            • 4535

                            #14
                            The more I do this, the less I know. Which sickness is mine? All of them. I just like to sit. I'm beginning to wonder if it's just for the peace and quiet. And yet...

                            Ron


                            Shugen
                            Meido Shugen
                            明道 修眼

                            Comment

                            • Kaishin
                              Member
                              • Dec 2010
                              • 2322

                              #15
                              Jundo, can you explain a bit more what you mean by a "cheap feeling of oneness and perfection?"
                              Gassho, Kaishin
                              Thanks,
                              Kaishin (開心, Open Heart)
                              Please take this layman's words with a grain of salt.

                              Comment

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