BOOK OF EQUANIMITY, case 9

[Risho]

Damn this is a tough one, but I agree with just dping something. I catch myself waiting to help until I feel ready or good enough to do something. But thats just my ego. I get pissed when I'm not recognized. This is crippling at times. That all has to be dropped to just act.

Was that catcut with Manjushris sword?

Gassho

Risho

Ps thank you for all of your awesome posts

[RichardH]

I get pissed when I'm not recognized. This is crippling at times. That all has to be dropped to just act.

Hey. Risho.... everybody does to some degree sometimes.. I spent years riding the wheel of fortune as an artist... being the star of the show "gifted" etc.. then down the other side to "out of style".... then back up. One year a gallery opening with people lined up to get in... media and so forth. Another year standing alone eating cheese and drinking too much wine.. then back again.. round and round... somebody,nobody,somebody,nobody..... it is insane, and crippling, and typical. No zazen= an insane wheel of fortune. Zazen= being sane.. getting off the wheel. That old wheel of becoming... samsara.


Gassho, kojip

[Taigu]

Thank you Kojip forthese true and sincere words.

Gassho

Taigu

[Myoku]

So how does this practice makes two into one?

No two to make it into one; not even one. What puzzles me most is the question what i would have said (being part of the assembly)...I dont know it.
Gassho
Myoku

[galen]

I dunno!

Show me your speech.

Hi Matt,

I do not have a speech, my comment was just what hit me at the time. It was not meant so much to call you out as it was my wondering from your post, is there a cat that needs saving. It seemed at the time, in your "I dunno!" , my question at the worst, would further provoke your thinking into your own quandary. Isn't that what Its all about?? It was me also thinking out loud, so to speak.... what needs to be saved. Its seems this saving, catching, holding onto, also keeps us stuck. Is there any need for jumping up, or down, for that matter. The koan seemed like it also might be telling/showing/representing, just sit there and witness; breathe, and then everything will fall in place or it won't. Most of us in our lives don't even realize there is a gap or cut that needs closing, and this seemed to represent that. Just knowing there is a difference or there is not, brings some liberating awareness, in and of itself.

As far as knowing more about me , when you click on our names here, it takes us to the personal profiles of each of us. And when I click on yours, it tells us as much about you as you know about me (had to kid you there). I live in a very conservative state like yourself (a blessing in a way, to Way), St.George Ut, and I guess I am just living the dream/illusion and delusion, on my way to some liberation of this small self. Personally (and i am sharing with everyone here, when i could have sent you a personal EM) and this is probably weird (again), I feel we might know more about each other by reading posts, and maybe some dharma dueling/bantering, then reading something about a persons own illusional self. But I guess this self portrait (illusional phenomena) is also part of the process of being on the other side of the cut; which side, which cut? Just staying with the cut, looking both ways is liberation in and of Itself! Not many of the world of phenomena, even realize there is a gap or cut........... is there? Does it really matter?

I dunno!

Take care my new friend,
galen

[RichardH]

Thank you Kojip forthese true and sincere words.

Gassho

Taigu

Thank you, Taigu.

The wheel turns regardless, so long as I breath, and is no problem per se.

Gassho, kojip

[Jinyo]

Very very touching words Willow.
But maybe suture and cut are one and the same, when you cut two into one.

Thank you for this amazing fresh mind of yours, our teacher.

Gassho


Taigu

Taigu - I'm still falling through the gap wondering if suture and cut are one and the same.
I keep coming back to the fluidity of cutting and sewing the kesa - the significance of Buddha's
patched robe. What you suggest feels right.

Thank you for your thoughts/teaching

Gassho

Willow

[Risho]

Kojip, thanks for your respone; i didn't have a chance to respond last night.

[AlanLa]

Ok, this just hit me as I reread the koan. If you have siblings roughly your age you probably had this experience. You and your brother (or sister) were fighting over a toy and mom came in and said if you can't play nice or together then I am taking away your toy. And you and your brother (or sister) kept fighting until mom came up and snatched the toy away from the two of you. And you both cried. Mom is Nansen and you and your brother (or sister) are the monks.

If I put myself in the place of those monks, this is how I experience this event/koan. I am in the east dorm and we are pissed at the west dorm's cat for some reason. It all started with some little event that no one can even recall anymore because now it's just a big feud, a running argument about that damn cat! Our egos are heavily involved now, so deeply involved that we can't see the silliness of the argument because of our deep desire to WIN the argument. Nansen sees this and says what he says to us feuding monks. We are so shocked that we don't know what to say. All he is asking is for us to speak from our hearts in order to save the cat, but we have lost our hearts as we have lost our way. And so we stare at him dumbly, and he thus cuts the cat to shock us back to the reality of here and now, the reality of life and death as just demonstrated to us quite dramatically. Life is too short to be caught up in ego arguments about a cat, a cat that is now dead, so better to get back to work. That's my take away. As for Joshu's sandals, his putting them on his head shows that he is not all wrapped up in his ego and can let the whole thing go. Speaking from the heart doesn't have to be serious; it can be silly, too.

We are all guilty of saying things like, "If I was there I would've ..." It's easy to judge from afar, but when you are IN the situation, wrapped up IN the event, we generally behave like the small beings that we are. We've all been there after the fact, but to be there in that moment clearly and mindfully - when it is our very lack of clarity with abundant mindlessness that got us in that moment - well, that's the whole koan, isn't it? How can we speak from our heart when our ego is all wrapped in something else? We can, and we do. When situations demand it, sometimes we do. For me, this koan is saying I should do so a little more often. And how do I get better at that? Practice, practice, practice.

[galen]

Ok, this just hit me as I reread the koan. If you have siblings roughly your age you probably had this experience. You and your brother (or sister) were fighting over a toy and mom came in and said if you can't play nice or together then I am taking away your toy. And you and your brother (or sister) kept fighting until mom came up and snatched the toy away from the two of you. And you both cried. Mom is Nansen and you and your brother (or sister) are the monks.

If I put myself in the place of those monks, this is how I experience this event/koan. I am in the east dorm and we are pissed at the west dorm's cat for some reason. It all started with some little event that no one can even recall anymore because now it's just a big feud, a running argument about that damn cat! Our egos are heavily involved now, so deeply involved that we can't see the silliness of the argument because of our deep desire to WIN the argument. Nansen sees this and says what he says to us feuding monks. We are so shocked that we don't know what to say. All he is asking is for us to speak from our hearts in order to save the cat, but we have lost our hearts as we have lost our way. And so we stare at him dumbly, and he thus cuts the cat to shock us back to the reality of here and now, the reality of life and death as just demonstrated to us quite dramatically. Life is too short to be caught up in ego arguments about a cat, a cat that is now dead, so better to get back to work. That's my take away. As for Joshu's sandals, his putting them on his head shows that he is not all wrapped up in his ego and can let the whole thing go. Speaking from the heart doesn't have to be serious; it can be silly, too.

We are all guilty of saying things like, "If I was there I would've ..." It's easy to judge from afar, but when you are IN the situation, wrapped up IN the event, we generally behave like the small beings that we are. We've all been there after the fact, but to be there in that moment clearly and mindfully - when it is our very lack of clarity with abundant mindlessness that got us in that moment - well, that's the whole koan, isn't it? How can we speak from our heart when our ego is all wrapped in something else? We can, and we do. When situations demand it, sometimes we do. For me, this koan is saying I should do so a little more often. And how do I get better at that? Practice, practice, practice.

Wow............. thank you, Alan. Thanks for sharing That!



galen

[galen]

Taigu - I'm still falling through the gap wondering if suture and cut are one and the same.
I keep coming back to the fluidity of cutting and sewing the kesa - the significance of Buddha's
patched robe. What you suggest feels right.

Thank you for your thoughts/teaching

Gassho

Willow

Thank you, Willow..... for sharing your suture/cut symbolism of the dilemma this koan presents. If I may..... it seems your wondering, falling into gap take, puts you in a great position to have no further concern on this matter. It seems you have yourself centered in the gap/cut looking both ways/sides, and that is over half Way through this so-called battle. It may be, that this awareness alone will resolve itself with little or no more intellectualizing it from your gap position. Just being in the center with your awareness of being there, says a lot from my limited vantage point. Thank you for this.



galen

[Heisoku]

How can we speak from our heart when our ego is all wrapped in something else? We can, and we do. When situations demand it, sometimes we do. For me, this koan is saying I should do so a little more often. And how do I get better at that? Practice, practice, practice.

Thanks Al this hits my problem on my head. I would be so wrapped up in trying to think of a zen thing to say. Nansen had to cut the cat in the end to show the reality, the bone and marrow. Even so I still wouldn't know what to say.
Now? Well I still don't know as I'd have to be in that situation, but it wouldn't be 'whatever', more like 'stop that cat!'

[Risho]

Holy shit Alan, thank you for that. I didn't think of it in that light.

Gassho

Risho

[galen]

P.S. Welcome to Treeleaf, galen! Please do take a moment to share a bit about yourself with everyone (if you haven't already, I might have missed it): http://www.treeleaf.org/forums/showt...ew-folks-(July)
_/\_

Thanks Matt...... for the link, will get caught up to that soon.



galen

[Kyonin]

Cat is reality, reality is cat.

We cut it in two with sharp swords only to see us mending it back.

Gassho,

Kyonin