Grass Hut - 1 - Things Change

[Byokan]

Hi all,

Thinking about impermanence. Life is so fragile; it changes in an instant. This has happened to me a few times, and it comes always with a feeling of shock that what I thought I held securely in hand, of course I really didn’t. We don’t own anything, we’re all renters and borrowers. Our life, our health, our possessions, our relationships... all moving and flowing all the time. Realizing this, I’m finding now that practice is not so much about letting go, but more about accepting that ‘having’ or ‘owning’ is an illusion. So yes, keeping and cherishing, caring for things and people carefully and wholeheartedly, feeling very grateful for what is with me today. And when the moment comes that things shift, when change or loss comes, saying yes, this was part of it all along. Realizing in that moment, even with feelings of resistance, that I still ‘have’ everything I need. It’s not a cold distancing but an allowing, a less-conditional and wider opening of the heart. It’s a freedom, really.

Gassho
lisa
sat today

[Tai Shi]

Willow,
thinking of you and your husband--take the time now for all that love you both share--all my best, Elgwyn, sat, Gassho _/\_

[Daiyo]

Hi all, I'm going through quite busy times these days and couldn't find the time to adequately express my thoughts on this wonderful book we're sharing.
I've read the first part of the chapter three times, and each time a lot of ideas came to me, but when I could finally sit and write here they've all lost distiguishable form or simply vanished.
Another lesson in impermanence perhaps, as if images or ideas grew like weeds to be shortly blown away with the tornado of thinking.

However I wanted to thank you all for your comments, and sharing of ideas, since they do enrich our learning.


Gassho,
Daiyo

#SatToday

[Matt]

One thing I would say about change is that even when things get bad, they are always enough. Beforehand we might think that we could not cope with certain events of loss or change in circumstance but we do, and find small things that make life worth living.

I have a small hut with nothing of value but it protects me from the wind and rain and has everything I need within it. For that I am truly grateful.

Thank you for this, Kokuu. I feel that your story captures the essence of these opening lines from Shitou.

For me, Shitou's words are a reminder that our needs are few. That our practice offers an opportunity to engage with something more significant than our material things.

Gassho,
Matt
#SatToday

[Joyo]

Hello again everyone, I would like to share something. Most people do not know this, but I have two extremely strong-willed boys. Years and years of parenting them has left me tired, sad, and often feeling very trapped and depressed. (my oldest is 9) Today, for example, we were going to go to a local park and spend the day hiking, but due to their behaviour we are not going and instead I am dishing out consequences. I'm sitting on my bed feeling sad, defeated, wondering why this has happened to me, why did I get these two kids that just push and test and try me so hard??

And I read the above posts and it's like a trickle of water in the dessert, or a small seedling popping out of the bare soil. It gives me peace, hope, to sit with my life and accept, instead of wishing it was something else. As Jundo would say, one eye on what is (accepting) and one eye on doing what I can do to make this situation better.

So thank you, all of you who have posted here.

Gassho,
Joyo
sat today

[Jishin]

Grass Hut - 1 - Things Change

I am so sorry Joyo. Rest and get better soon.

Gassho, Jishin, #SatToday

[Jinyo]

Take care Joyo - parenting can be really hard at times. Please be kind to yourself.

(Haven't sat today yet - been visiting my mum in the old folks home. First things first )

Gassho

Willow

[Mp]

Take care Joyo, get some rest, and know you will make it through this. =)

Gassho
Shingen

Sattoday

[Jundo]

From one parent to another ...

Gassho, J

SatToday

[Kyotai]

Still waiting for my book to arrive via ebay

Gassho, Kyotai
Sat today

[Josan]

I'm sitting on my bed feeling sad, defeated, wondering why this has happened to me, why did I get these two kids that just push and test and try me so hard??

I sometimes think that dealing with death and sickness if probably easier than parenting for some reason. They can be thought about in the context of impermanence and how everything is in constant change. Parenting is a tough nut to crack.

Joyo, my wife bought this book some years ago and found it very useful http://www.amazon.com/Buddhism-Mothe.../dp/1742373771

However, I suspect that all the answers may be in this wonderful, wonderful book that we are reading here at Treeleaf.
Gassho, David

sattoday

[Kaishin]

Hello again everyone, I would like to share something. Most people do not know this, but I have two extremely strong-willed boys. Years and years of parenting them has left me tired, sad, and often feeling very trapped and depressed. (my oldest is 9) Today, for example, we were going to go to a local park and spend the day hiking, but due to their behaviour we are not going and instead I am dishing out consequences. I'm sitting on my bed feeling sad, defeated, wondering why this has happened to me, why did I get these two kids that just push and test and try me so hard??

And I read the above posts and it's like a trickle of water in the dessert, or a small seedling popping out of the bare soil. It gives me peace, hope, to sit with my life and accept, instead of wishing it was something else. As Jundo would say, one eye on what is (accepting) and one eye on doing what I can do to make this situation better.

So thank you, all of you who have posted here.

Gassho,
Joyo
sat today

Thank you, Joyo, for sharing. I hear you - our two daughters often leave my wife and I feeling completely drained and aggravated. I can't think of anything insightful to say...just wanted to commiserate

With regard to attachment, I am waiting to be tested. By that I mean, I have never suffered a devastating loss. Part of that may be that I'm the kind of person who doesn't get close to many people. I hold only a few people very dearly, so I fear that when the inevitable happens, I will be unable to cope let alone accept. Material things--I really do feel that I hold them lightly, that I have no attachment to them--easy come, easy go. But people....we'll see.

i think we need people like Shitou to remind us that we need little to live. But it seems to me that, for us lay people, it's important to remember Jundo's warning not to become a pratyekabuddha, not to run off and hide in a hut in the forest. If our purpose, as Connelly says, is to alleviate suffering in the world, then we must remain amidst the suffering and help (and not add hurt) the best we can.

[Joyo]

Thank you everyone. It is very, very difficult for me to share, but thank you for making this a safe place. I feel sometimes that I am the only one dealing with this, to this extreme I mean because other people (in my real life) seem to be so happy parenting and just love it.

Gassho,
Joyo
sat today

[Myosha]

-1- Yes

-2- Vowed to marriage with individual who admitted, previous to making vows, an inability to maintain in relationship, life nor death any interest outside herself. Ego thought, "Yummy, a new challenge." Fourteen years later I died: family gone,
businesses gone, doggone, home gone, sanity gone . . . BUT life is eternal. Life before, during, and after. Life as it is. No attachment and constant attachment. No thought WITH thought. Life as it is.


Gassho
Myosha sat today

[Ansan]

Thank you for sharing, Ansan. I was very touched by what you had to say. I am very sorry to hear about your husband and I do hope his health is improving. I am glad you have found zen and Treeleaf to help learn acceptance.

Gassho,
Joyo
sat today

Thank you for sharing Ansan - my husband is also in his 70's and my health is not good. I feel as we get older the value of living fully in this moment is thrown into sharp relief perhaps with greater clarity. It also becomes a more urgent imperative not to waste precious time - because realistically our time on this earth is running out - though in reality this is always so - we can never be certain that our lives will continue beyond this moment. I do often struggle with this
because there is much in life to 'value' - by value I mean care about.

I feel this is part of the paradox. There is nothing of material value in Shitou's hut yet as we read on we will gather that the hut contains everything of value. It contains the entire world of our loves and hates, our attachments and practice. and desire to live in peace and at peace with the 'weeds'.

I have always loved this poem - if I had to lose everything but was allowed to keep one piece of writing this would be it. The first nine lines of the poem head the beginning of a novel I've just published and I return to the line 'Let go of hundreds of years and relax completely' at the end, so it has been deep
in my thoughts for a number of years.

Looking forward to reading each section of Ben Connelly's book and sharing our responses.

Gassho
Willow
sat today

A lovely expression Ansan ... thank you for sharing about love, loss, and acceptance. I wish all the best you and a healthy recovery for your husband.

Gassho
Shingen

SatToday

Thank you, Joyo, Willow and Shingen, for your comments and support. My husband has recovered immeasurably and actually, because of Zen and TreeLeaf, he has changed dramatically. At first, he was very angry and in denial. I was not in denial...I was just anxious and in controlled depression. He has not committed formally to Buddhism nor has he joined TreeLeaf but finds that daily Zazen and discusssion of our readings (most recently, "Opening the Hand of Thought" by Uchiyama and now beginning Dogen's "Moon in a Dewdrop") have allowed him to drop the anxiety that he so carefully camouflaged. Me too. Willow, I truly understand about getting older and feeling the urgency to be aware of the present. It goes by too quickly and that is the reason Zazen has made such an impact on both of us. And so has Shitou. Home or the Grass Hut or the Village is Zazen for us. Each time I read the Grass Hut (not before meditation but in the evenings before bedtime), I find something new to discover, even though I cannot express those internal words.

Loss is not difficult to accept when there is the present that is so joyous at times and at others, just ordinary life. Life is all I know. As Dogen states "In a time called life, there is nothing besides life." It is all happening right now, in our Grass Hut.

Gassho,
Ansan
SatToday