Sometimes folks ask whether they can and should bring Zen monastic practices into their ordinary home, work and family lives. Should they stick to strict schedules of ritualized behavior? Must one seek to be mindful and graceful in every step and gesture? Should they Chant more during their day, and otherwise limit speech or undertake strict vows of silence? Would it be good to take most meals in slow Oryoki ceremony, bow to the toilet and sink before each use, sleep on a hard bed, wear only plain robes? Should one disconnect from media and, as much as possible, from all other distractions and worldly concerns? Is it good and necessary to sit Zazen each day for hours on end? Should we strive to encounter all people and every activity as practice, when cooking, cleaning, doing office work, dealing with difficult individuals at home or at our jobs?
Certainly, all those practices are powerful, many are excellent to add to our lives, with important reminders and insights embedded in them: We can be more aware of our small actions, rather than rushing through life mindlessly, as we often do. Words in gratitude and humility before eating can remind us of the gift of food, and all the labors and natural wonders which bring it to our mouths. Bowing to toilet and bathtub, desk and dirty floors to scrub can express our recognition that all are sacred in their way. Simpler and healthier meals, fewer furnishings and possessions, functional clothes and less material concerns impress on us that the real treasures of life are not found in an excess of things. Less words and less media helps us disentangle from the clutter of ideas and debate that floods our heads and heart, revealing open clarity in its place.
However, in seeking to "live more like a monk," it is vital not to confuse the outer appearance and forms of ritual life with the wisdom and compassion that such rituals are meant to instill. In other words, don't confuse the delivery truck with the package which is to be delivered, or the jelly jar for the sweet jelly within! The real fruits of these practices are not about mimicking or living up to some romantic image of a monk in a temple, but about finding the real temple within one's own heart. Buddhist wisdom and compassion can be found on the city streets, in the news reports of distant wars, in the tumult of our family and jobs, in the subway or resisting those tempting online shops, not only in some idealized wooden Buddha halls in the Himalayas. Where is Buddha not? Where is the Genjo Koan, the Koan of this reality right here, not presenting itself endlessly?
Thus, I sometimes remind folks of this:
- A regimented schedule may be lovely sometimes, but also learn the heart which floats free and at ease amid all the chaotic changes and surprises of life. Even as you run around in the race of places to go and people to see, find the "no place ever in need of going," and what Zen folks call "Ichi-go ichi-ai" ('each single encounter is the one meeting') that is the stillness within, no matter your running feet. Picking up the kids at school, rushing in traffic to the office, or dashing to light the altar incense are all the same 'stillness-running.' In this way, one gets the chores done ... though there was never anything to do, nothing ever lacking. Remember, feeling "disturbance" and "problem" are more a matter of subjective reaction between your own ears to what is just a "situation" or "circumstances" outside. The monk with her daily rituals and schedules should learn nothing different, for otherwise she is just in a monastic rat race of her own.
- It is good not to overtalk or get overly caught up in ideas and words. This is true today especially, in this age of information overload. But also, know the Silence (Big "S") which is both all words and ideas and all ordinary worldly silence, the Silence which is even present as talking heads on the TV, babies crying, horns honking and bombs exploding. Chant the old chants some times during the day, but hear the Chant which never ends and does not depend on words. The monk, in silent reflection, learns nothing different. If not, he is a prisoner of babble even in the quiet valley with still tongue.
- Live more simply, knowing the difference between things you truly need for a healthy and balanced life, and the things you only crave, chase after as a trend, tire of and throw away. However, the monk, with their few robes and possessions, released from many mundane obligations, might forget this too if they commence chasing after fancier robes, sect promotions and titles, drums and bells and other temple trappings, as a calling becomes just another career.
- Bow with pressed palms to ordinary objects, to people, to any moment of life. Know that one need not bow just to wooden Buddha statues or fellow Buddhists. The sacred place of practice is not only the temple kitchen or Zen Hall floors, but your household kitchen and dirty garage to straighten. Cooking and cleaning at home, doing office work, dealing with difficult people at our jobs is just a variation on cooking and cleaning at the temple, balancing the temple books, paying for the temple roof repairs, dealing with difficult people at the temple. Whether cleaning and fixing your household goods or temple goods, know the heart of equanimity which leaps through all judgements of "clean vs. dirty, pure and impure, complete or broken" even as one keeps dusting and fixing. The monk who fails to know this very same non-attachment to outcomes and dropping of opposites is also a prisoner of judgements.
- One can sit Zazen each day for a time, and we do sit each day as a special doing in which we put all doing down. However, if one sits caught up in notions of Zazen that "more is better," that there are points to earn by quantity, that there is something to achieve ... one will fail to achieve the dropping of all need for achievement: Namely, the True Achievement, Clarity and Healing found in freedom from all need to attain, fix, fill and achieve. Whether sitting long or short, sit for some time beyond all measures of "long vs. short," and without breaking life down into piled up moments of ticking clock. Do not fail to sit, sometimes long and sometimes short ... but sit every time as timeless. Each instant of Zazen is ALL TIME too. If one is a monk sitting for days on end, but bound to thoughts of depth and progress, distant satori and distant Buddhas, one is truly making far away what is right in hand. If one sits (for even a moment) knowing this moment as completely this moment, shining as the morning star just shining, sitting just to sit, aware that nothing lacks from this crazy moment, and there is no before or after ... such is a moment of Buddha sitting.
In such questions, perhaps there is a little jealousy of the monkish lifestyle, seemingly free of all the duties and entanglements of modern life, or a belief that lay practice in the modern city and suburbs is somehow less real than what goes on behind closed gates deep in the Chinese or Japanese mountains. However, monks have their own problems, obligations, human entanglements and feelings. One's fellow priests are one's family as much as a spouse, grandparents and kids. Some note that the Zen monastic environment, far from being a life of peaceful relaxation amid a community of easy-going fellow seekers, can be a hard grinding-stone with its own stresses and tensions, and Zen monks can be as varied and trying in personality and hang-ups as any human beings. The rough stones rubbing together become smooth, the challenges are our Koans. Thus, while the monastic lifestyle is to be celebrated, and those who find their path within its walls are to be honored, we also should not overly romanticize such things, nor confine Buddha within those walls. The Buddha declared repeatedly that "household life is crowded and dusty," thus practice at home is "not easy." But he never said impossible!
It too is a "life wide open" if the heart is wide open. Practice at home is the harder practice (yes, the monastery is actually the easier road), and the harder practice can yield the greater rewards. As Master Dogen reminds us (in Bendowa):
Those who think that worldly tasks can hinder the Buddha Dharma only think there is no Buddha Dharma in worldly things; they do not know that there are no worldly things in the Buddha Dharma.
It is not the outer form that matters, but what you find right here ...
... in Kansas as much as Kyoto, in Llasa or London,
wearing black robes or blue jeans ...
... dancing as all outer forms, stillness amid the daily bustle,
tending to kids or fellow monks,
chanting, then singing the hit tunes on the radio.
wearing black robes or blue jeans ...
... dancing as all outer forms, stillness amid the daily bustle,
tending to kids or fellow monks,
chanting, then singing the hit tunes on the radio.
Gassho, J
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