Today, Sangha members wrote to me with terrible stories of suffering, violence, war and falling bombs in their very town, addictions, illness, lost loved ones, fear and sadness. I feel powerless in the face of all of it.
What do I have to offer?
Of course, as a friend, I lend an ear, a shoulder, some practical advice here and there. We might cry together, and I have some encouraging words. "The sun will come out, there is hope ...," and other like thoughts. It is the same as any friend or loved one might give. I can momentarily cheer or encourage. Still, I feel helpless, for I can do nothing to change all that.
The violence, illness and all the rest remain.
As one person, what do I have to offer?
We should work for a world in which there is no war and violence, no addictions, where illnesses find their cure, loved ones live long, where all are at peace. I look forward to such a world, somewhere tomorrow. But in the meantime, that seems so far away.
The violence, illness and all the rest remain.
As a Buddhist priest, what do I have to offer?
Oh, I might offer a chant of strange and mysterious "gya gya gya" words, together with a promise that it will make some magic, chase away evil, prevent disasters, cure sickness and the like. The sound is soothing to the heart, it is true. Or, I can say that it is just someone's "past Karma" working out, that good things will come eventually, soon, or perhaps in a next life after the debt is paid. Yes, there is some psychological benefit to the listener to hear such "it is all God's plan"-like explanations, it is true.
That may be reason enough to profess such things. And sometimes I do chant, light a candle, say some words for someone's lost loved one, for someone's health and recovery, precisely because it is one thing I can offer to calm their hurting heart for a time. I do it. Giving hope and strength to others is precious and powerful. But, beyond the comforting sound and promises, I do not believe in any of that. They are just sounds and explanations that change little.
The violence, illness and all the rest remain.
As a Zen priest, what do I have to offer?
I only have sitting, Zazen, Shikantaza ... guiding folks to sit at the heart of suffering, violence, addictions, illness, fear and sadness ... to know the light and stillness which shines and rests quietly at the heart of suffering, violence, addictions, illness, fear and sadness ... to know the unbroken wholeness beyond victors and victims, loss and need, and even birth and death. Here, there is no suffering, violence, excess desire in addiction, bodies or illness, nothing and nobody to fear, no loss, no sadness. Here, there is a Peace which sweeps in all the world's broken pieces, a Whole encompassing all this life's filled or empty holes, a Heart that beats on as our little lives come and go. Though the violence, the illness and all the rest remain ... HERE ... they do not remain, and all is clear.
Sitting is a power, marvelous, as the hard borders, tensions, battles, needs and longings of the "little self" soften and fully drop away, revealing ...
THIS!
And it was so in the Buddha's time, in Dogen's ... all Samsara's times of suffering, violence, addictions, illness, loss and longing, fear and sadness. This is all they too had to offer ... a Peace and Flowing Wholeness that liberates from suffering, violence, desire, birth and death, and anything to fear or regret. The violence, illness and all the rest are banished, cured, ended, never were and never will be! The work is done.
And yet ... still helpless ...
... "the beloved flowers still fall to our regret and sorrow, the weeds still grow though we wish it were not so," said Dogen.
Helpless, the violence, illness and all the rest remain ...
... the tears remain.
aprapti
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