Death, Grieving and Buddhism

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  • Gregor
    Member
    • Apr 2007
    • 638

    Death, Grieving and Buddhism

    I lost my grandmother on Wednesday. It's been a difficult time for me and my family. I'm alright but obviously grieving as is normal and healthy.

    We had a Roman Catholic service for her according to her wishes. I understand the comforting appeal to the Christian belief that we will be reunited with our loves ones at death. But, I don't accept it as something I believe. However, this makes me sad too. I understand that the very nature of life is that we become separated from all that we cherish and every one that we love.

    It's such a bittersweet reality, a difficult thing but it gives such value and meaning to the present moment and the relationships we have.
    Jukai '09 Dharma Name: Shinko 慎重(Prudent Calm)
  • louis
    Member
    • Aug 2007
    • 172

    #2
    Dear Gregor,

    Please accept my condolences at your family's loss.

    gassho,
    Louis

    Comment

    • lindabeekeeper
      Member
      • Jan 2008
      • 162

      #3
      I, too am sorry for your loss

      But perhaps, if we do not have a separate self, we have not really lost our loved ones?

      Gassho,

      Linda

      Comment

      • Gregor
        Member
        • Apr 2007
        • 638

        #4
        Hary, Lious, Linda -

        Thank you for your sentiments.

        Linda,

        You may have a point, I do feel like my grandmother lives on in my heart.
        Jukai '09 Dharma Name: Shinko 慎重(Prudent Calm)

        Comment

        • Jundo
          Treeleaf Founder and Priest
          • Apr 2006
          • 39074

          #5
          Hi Gregor,

          My thoughts are with you and your family. Yes, grieving is natural to human beings and not something to run from.

          I lost my mom a year and some ago. I still see her whenever I look at the grass, trees or clouds, as much as if looking into her eyes. I even see her in Gregor and his Grandmother.I like to think that I may meet her again, but I surely meet her now.

          Gassho, Jundo
          ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

          Comment

          • Ankai
            Treeleaf Unsui
            • Nov 2007
            • 878

            #6
            Very sorry, Gregor.
            Gassho!
            護道 安海

            -Godo Ankai

            I'm still just starting to learn. I'm not a teacher. Please don't take anything I say too seriously. I already take myself too seriously!

            Comment

            • Janice
              Member
              • Jan 2008
              • 93

              #7
              There are times when sorry seems to be the only truth -- Oscar Wilde

              My thoughts are with you.

              Gassho, Janice

              Comment

              • Rev R
                Member
                • Jul 2007
                • 457

                #8
                Sorry to hear that man.

                No good at these sorts of words I'm afraid, they always come out sounding heartless.

                A moment of silence...

                Comment

                • Bansho
                  Member
                  • Apr 2007
                  • 532

                  #9
                  Dear Greg,

                  My heartfelt condolences...

                  Gassho
                  Ken
                  ??

                  Comment

                  • Shohei
                    Member
                    • Oct 2007
                    • 2854

                    #10
                    Deepest condolences to you Greg and your family. My best thoughts are with you.

                    Gassho
                    Dirk

                    Comment

                    • Kelly M.
                      Member
                      • Sep 2007
                      • 225

                      #11
                      My condolences as well Greg.

                      Best wishes and Gassho,
                      Kelly
                      Live in joy and love, even among those who hate
                      Live in joy and health, even among the afflicted
                      Live in joy and peace, even among the troubled
                      Look within and be still; free from fear and grasping
                      Know the sweet joy of living in the way.

                      Comment

                      • agata
                        Member
                        • Jun 2007
                        • 76

                        #12
                        Please accept my condolences.

                        Comment

                        • Mika
                          Member
                          • Nov 2007
                          • 64

                          #13
                          My heart is with you Greg.

                          My grandfather passed away a bit over a year ago, he was the first close relative to die for me. I did not grieve so much, but felt a kind of emptiness inside for awhile after (perhaps some remorse as well, because he was not always the easiest person to be around and I occasionally thought it would be easier if he "wouldn't be around anymore"). I think it also helped that he did not pass away suddenly, but lingered on a few weeks in hospital after a stroke so we got to say goodbye to him and prepare in advance for the inevitable.

                          Gassho and take care,
                          Mika
                          [i:za7h9q7z]Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.[/i:za7h9q7z]

                          Comment

                          • Gregor
                            Member
                            • Apr 2007
                            • 638

                            #14
                            Thank you everyone, I'm touched by and deeply appreciate your kind words and show of support.
                            Jukai '09 Dharma Name: Shinko 慎重(Prudent Calm)

                            Comment

                            • Eika
                              Member
                              • Sep 2007
                              • 806

                              #15
                              Sorry for your loss, Greg.

                              Gassho,
                              Bill
                              [size=150:m8cet5u6]??[/size:m8cet5u6] We are involved in a life that passes understanding and our highest business is our daily life---John Cage

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