Beginner mediation and the weekend pause

[Jinyo]

Hello Neil,
this is just a thought but I'm going to come in offside because a few words in your original post leapt out for me.
I think I'm right in saying (Jundo will correct if not) that its fine to investigate once 'off the cushion'.
You already have the insight that you're projecting something onto the practice. I reckon we all do that at the beginning and this tends to change over time as we get a more
realistic and informed view and learn a great deal from our personal experience of meditation. I feel it might be worth your investigating that projection?
From what you wrote Zazen represents your personal space, time for yourself and not having that time is frustrating and makes you question a dependency.
Maybe that alone is a good place to begin a discussion with your partner about the need for personal space?
I think your feelings about taking the space and the fact it allows your mind to calm and settle are perfectly natural and shared by us all - of course calmness doesn't happen every time and often
doesn't happen at all. I'm wondering if you could also maybe look at other ways of calming your mind in addition to meditation - so it doesn't stand out as the one thing that helps.
Throwing a bucket of soapy water over my very dirty car and helping my gardener clip the hedge worked just as well for me today - life is strange and Zazen is all of life

Gassho

Jinyo

ST

[Tairin]

When I decided to take up Zen mediation I asked her if she wanted to join me. She said yes. We’ve been sitting together daily for the past 7 years.


Tairin
Sat today and lah

[Jundo]

A couple of reflections that may seem contradictory:

1. On a day you cannot sit Zazen, just don't sit Zazen. Nothing lost, no stories needed.
2. You can nearly always sit Zazen. In the hospital, at the kitchen table, in a parked car, on the train, etc. Lotus posture, incense, bells, and 30 minutes of Shikantaza are very nice, but we can sit without them for 5 minutes too.
3. Sitting in a Zendo of polished wood the moon is clearly visible through the window. We also gain faith that the moon is still there even when sitting in a car in a parking garage during a thunderstorm.

Gassho,
Sekishi

Lovely

[Heiso]

Hi Neil,

I think I know what you mean. I don't think I've ever sat down with my wife and discussed zen and how it is something I have committed to. There are zen books everywhere, she knows I talk to zen people on the net and occasionally have time to join them for zoom calls.

She also found my attempts to sew my rakusu fairly amusing considering she sews things for a living, and I often find my statues of Buddha and Manjushri have been rearranged - but I don't think we've ever *really* discussed what I do and I don't think she's really seen me sitting zazen as the only time I can find the quiet to do that is in the morning before she is awake. I also remember in the early days being weirdly nervous that she'd walk in on me zazenning. I have no idea what that is about but I suspect it's some sort of fear of being vulnerable maybe? So while I don't have much advice, I think I get what you mean.

Gassho,

Neil

StLah

[houst0n]

Well, it of course wasn't a big deal in the end. I just followed Jundo's advice and she's fine with it. I'm out of the zen closet

It seems, it's not that hard to find some time to practice while my son is at kindergarten.

Love and peace to you all, and thanks so much for all the replies.

-Neil

./sat+lah

[houst0n]

A couple of reflections that may seem contradictory:

1. On a day you cannot sit Zazen, just don't sit Zazen. Nothing lost, no stories needed.
2. You can nearly always sit Zazen. In the hospital, at the kitchen table, in a parked car, on the train, etc. Lotus posture, incense, bells, and 30 minutes of Shikantaza are very nice, but we can sit without them for 5 minutes too.
3. Sitting in a Zendo of polished wood the moon is clearly visible through the window. We also gain faith that the moon is still there even when sitting in a car in a parking garage during a thunderstorm.

Gassho,
Sekishi

I loved this. Thank you.

./sat+lah

[Bion]

Well, it of course wasn't a big deal in the end. I just followed Jundo's advice and she's fine with it. I'm out of the zen closet

It seems, it's not that hard to find some time to practice while my son is at kindergarten.

Love and peace to you all, and thanks so much for all the replies.

-Neil

./sat+lah

That’s awesome! I’m sure you must feel relieved and just excited [emoji3526]

[emoji1374] SatToday lah

[Gregor]

I dont really talk to my wife about it either. Not her thing. She knows i meditate, sees the books lying around but unless she asks i am not about to discuss it much. Sort of returning to practice myself and prefer to let the changes in me speak for themselves.

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[Gregor]

One suggestion. Getting up early or staying up late is a great way to fit in Zazen without it conflicting with family time or obligations

Gassho,

Gregory
ST

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[Shinshi]

Well, it of course wasn't a big deal in the end. I just followed Jundo's advice and she's fine with it. I'm out of the zen closet

It seems, it's not that hard to find some time to practice while my son is at kindergarten.

Love and peace to you all, and thanks so much for all the replies.

-Neil

./sat+lah

Gassho, Shinshi

SaT-LaH