Zen practice and Parenting by Shohaku Okumura

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  • Steve Rossiter
    replied
    Thank you so much for sharing. I am new to Zen, and trying to find my way. Having a big family makes it hard to practice, but seeing stories like this make me appreciate that im not alone. Gasshó

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  • Kaishin
    replied
    There's also a great biographical interview with him on YouTube:



    In addition to his history, he talks about many aspects of Soto Zen, practice, and of course Dogen.

    -satToday

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  • Heiso
    replied
    Originally posted by Yokai
    Thank you for sharing Inshin

    Parenting...small fish, big ocean! (or is that small bird, big ocean?)

    Off to practice lockdown home schooling

    Gassho, Yokai sat/lah
    All the metta to you Yokai, I feel a bit sick just at the thought of lockdown homeschooling again.

    And I agree with Geika, this is a Treeleaf classic for good reason. Thanks for posting.

    Gassho,

    Heiso

    StLah

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  • Onrin
    replied
    Originally posted by Jundo
    If only our 18 year old and 11 year old always thought so!

    Sometimes asking them to remember to feed the cat or to pull some weeds makes them call us TYRANTS!

    That's when I make the family watch 'Little House on the Prarie' or 'Anne of Green Gables,' and hint that we should buy a cow for them to milk each morning ...

    Gassho, J
    STLah
    Same here, everyday. And good idea on Little House!
    I can remind ours that their grandma had to slaughter a chicken if they wanted stew and clean out the horse stable daily. At least our boy has to clean up the goat pen at his kindergarten so he knows what that's about.
    Gassho,
    Chris

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  • Inshin
    replied
    Originally posted by Yokai
    Thank you for sharing Inshin

    Parenting...small fish, big ocean! (or is that small bird, big ocean?)

    Off to practice lockdown home schooling

    Gassho, Yokai sat/lah
    Sending Metta to you and an ocean of patience. Mine nearly dried up when we did home schooling.

    Gassho
    Sat

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  • Jundo
    replied
    Originally posted by kurisu
    Having met your kids I have no doubt as to the quality of parenting you and your wife have accomplished.
    If only our 18 year old and 11 year old always thought so!

    Sometimes asking them to remember to feed the cat or to pull some weeds makes them call us TYRANTS!

    That's when I make the family watch 'Little House on the Prarie' or 'Anne of Green Gables,' and hint that we should buy a cow for them to milk each morning ...

    Gassho, J
    STLah

    Leave a comment:


  • Yokai
    replied
    Thank you for sharing Inshin

    Parenting...small fish, big ocean! (or is that small bird, big ocean?)

    Off to practice lockdown home schooling

    Gassho, Yokai sat/lah

    Leave a comment:


  • Onrin
    replied
    Originally posted by Jundo
    It is a lovely and honest film.
    Having met your kids I have no doubt as to the quality of parenting you and your wife have accomplished.

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  • Geika
    replied
    This little movie has kind of made itself into a Treeleaf classic. It shows up every once in a while, for good reason!

    Gassho
    Sat, lah

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  • Jundo
    replied
    It is a lovely and honest film.

    We had another little thread about it when it was first released. I made this comment, as a parent myself ...

    Sometimes there are bad parents in this world. Terrible parents.

    Sometimes there are good parents who make some mistakes.

    Sometimes there are good parents, and the kids don't appreciate what they have.


    No matter how you cut it, the Okumura's are not the first, and I bet ya that the truth is closer to the last.

    I know that I regret some of the things I said and thought about my own parents now that, with my own kids, I find myself doing and saying the same things to them that my parents said to me: ("Do it because I said so! As long as you are under my roof, eating my food ... ") I came to realize that dear old dad was one hell of a great guy through thick and thin though he also never said much in words, and mom was always there and meant well despite the flaws.

    I will tell you a Japanese cultural trait that I know first hand from 27 years here: A lot of Japanese are not very verbal, even with folks they love. They show love, they do loving things for the kids, but they don't necessarily say "I love you", or have deep talks with their kids or other family members. As one of my in-laws once told me, "Japanese folks show love by being together, living together, sticking together ... and no need to say much more." A lot of Asian kids, raised in the U.S. (in my wife's family too) frequently complain about such cultural divides with their more traditional parents.

    In all the times I have gone to parks, play groups, and children's play centers here in Japan, I have yet to see a Japanese parent kiss and hug their kids. If you understood Japanese, you would probably never hear a Japanese parent say "I love you."


    Some parents push their kids too hard (a lot of that in Japan, where there is a big push to study to pass entrance exams even to get into a good public high school, and even into a good junior high school!)

    Adolescence has never been easy, but add the pressure of having to pass an important high school exam and you have what's commonly known as 'entrance exam hell.'


    So, I just wonder what film this young daughter will make about her parents when she, herself, is a parent. Hmmmm.

    Gassho, Jundo Dad

    SatToday (then told my son to get a haircut cause summer is over, school starts tomorrow! )
    Sorry to run long

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  • Koushi
    replied
    It’s easy to forget that when this documentary came out, Okumura was 69 years old. (I hope I age as gracefully). His approach to parenting is very hands off, allowing his kids to make their own decisions, to the point the son says “I wish he were a little more hard on me.”

    The dynamic between everyone in the family is very interesting, and to hear about daily life and the effects of parenting from all sides is thought provoking and wonderful. In the end, it seems, his son chose his own path and things worked out as they should have (and only could have).

    Thank you for sharing, I’ll always watch this when it comes up. Sorry for running long.

    Gassho,
    Koushi
    STLaH

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  • Inshin
    replied
    Originally posted by Bion
    By the way, his name is Shohaku Okumura [emoji23] [emoji1787]

    [emoji1374] SatToday
    Thank you! I've changed it. I'm notorious for misspelling names

    Gassho
    Sat

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  • Bion
    replied
    Originally posted by Inshin
    Loved how at the end Okumara gives a philosophical talk about going about our lives like fish and a bird and, the movie finishes with his son serving two dishes saying "bird" and the "fish"

    Gassho
    Sat
    By the way, his name is Shohaku Okumura [emoji23] [emoji1787]

    [emoji1374] SatToday

    Leave a comment:


  • Bion
    replied
    Originally posted by Inshin
    Loved how at the end Okumara gives a philosophical talk about going about our lives like fish and a bird and, the movie finishes with his son serving two dishes saying "bird" and the "fish"

    Gassho
    Sat
    His son eventually ended up finishing his studies .. culinary school or something. [emoji1374] [emoji1374]

    [emoji1374] SatToday

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  • Inshin
    replied
    Loved how at the end Okumara gives a philosophical talk about going about our lives like fish and a bird and, the movie finishes with his son serving two dishes saying "bird" and the "fish"

    Gassho
    Sat

    Leave a comment:

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