Demon’s cave in the black mountain

[Tom A.]

What if I, hypothetically, sometimes feel like a fraud when practicing. Like I am regurgitating other people’s thoughts, talking the talk but not walking the walk and/or inauthentically going through the motions. How do I get out of the “demon’s cave on the black mountain”? Asking for a friend

Gassho,
Tom

Sat

[Risho]

Welcome to being human. Seriously - I think we all face imposter syndrome. It's natural - it just means we can do better; just drop those crappy thoughts and keep on keeping' on. That's just the ego comparing things - it's not real. Just keep doing your best.

gassho

risho
-stlah

[Onka]

What if I, hypothetically, sometimes feel like a fraud when practicing. Like I am regurgitating other people’s thoughts, talking the talk but not walking the walk and/or inauthentically going through the motions. How do I get out of the “demon’s cave on the black mountain”? Asking for a friend

Gassho,
Tom

Sat

I'd humbly suggest that being able to identify such things implies enough awareness to address them before they become problematic.
Gassho
Onka
ST

[Bokucho]

I often feel that way too, and then I remember that you can't know reality without delusion as well. It's all a part of it, and really, aren't all of our memories and reactions just built off of our own previous reactions and preconceptions? If we only exist in the now then I'm constantly regurgitating my own self's thoughts from an earlier experience, weird lol

Gassho,

Josh
SatToday/LaH

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[Kyotai]

Practicing each day keeps us tethered to experience. Sometimes however, we still bounce around a bit..but with continued practiced things settle.


Gassho, Kyotai
ST

[Jundo]

What if I, hypothetically, sometimes feel like a fraud when practicing. Like I am regurgitating other people’s thoughts, talking the talk but not walking the walk and/or inauthentically going through the motions. How do I get out of the “demon’s cave on the black mountain”? Asking for a friend

Gassho,
Tom

Sat

Ah, for those who do not know the reference, stuck in the “demon’s cave on the black mountain” is an oft-repeated traditional Zen expression that indicates a student is attached to thinking or mere mimicry.

So, a question: Does a rose doubt itself as a rose, thinking it is a fake flower, the rose wondering if it is fooling the world into believing that it is more wondrous and beautiful than it is, wishing it were without thorns? Does my cat worry that it is not living up to its catness, merely imitating other cats? It is only human beings who, between their ears, judge their inauthenticity, flaw, lack and incompleteness ... thus making it true! We place ourselves in the dark cave, and we can escape as well by turning the light to shine within.

You are Buddha, you always have been and always will be. Simply realize so. (But, before it goes to your head, realize that every bit of dog crap or grain of sand on the moon is too ... all of it. There is nothing special about you, except in the sense that all of it ... and each drop of it ... is as special as special can be).

In fact, you know who is a big phoney? That buddha guy, making us think that he had light coming out his eyebrows, golden skin and throne to sit on. In fact, buddha is the demon, and the demon just buddha ... and the cave and the mountain ... Tom too. Realizing this fact --is-- Buddha (with a "Big B")!

Now, that said ... do your best during this life to live as Buddha-like as you can ... avoiding to kill someone, to get angry, to be jealous, to rob a bank or cheat, to wallow in fear or excess desires ... and you will be fine.

Abracadabra, out of the cave, and light will shine from your eyebrows too!

(Sorry, ran long. I am a big "3 sentences" phoney!)

Gassho, J

STLah

[Inshin]

What does being enough "zenni " even mean? Zen is not some sort of subculture we identify ourselves with. Robert Waldinger, a zen priest and Harvard researcher into happiness said "“Zen is so much about this being our life—just this, whatever is coming up right now,”“Maybe there are religions that get to total happiness and bliss. But Zen doesn’t work that way, and it certainly hasn’t for me,”

He recalls feeling like an imposter before his Dharma transmission ceremony, laughing that during tea ceremony the only thing he could think about was if he's gonna get the last brownie.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.lionsroar.com/love-its-what-really-makes-us-happy/amp/

Gassho
Sat

[Meitou]

What does being enough "zenni " even mean? Zen is not some sort of subculture we identify ourselves with. Robert Waldinger, a zen priest and Harvard researcher into happiness said "“Zen is so much about this being our life—just this, whatever is coming up right now,”“Maybe there are religions that get to total happiness and bliss. But Zen doesn’t work that way, and it certainly hasn’t for me,”

He recalls feeling like an imposter before his Dharma transmission ceremony, laughing that during tea ceremony the only thing he could think about was if he's gonna get the last brownie.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.lionsroar.com/love-its-what-really-makes-us-happy/amp/

Gassho
Sat

Thank you for this Ania
Gassho
Meitou
Sattoday lah

[Jakuden]

Being a novice priest is even better at making one feel fraudulent. Although I truly feel this practice and this Sangha live in everything I do these days, trying to advise someone else makes me acutely aware of my own extremely imperfect and deluded views. Let's all be impostors together and just quit worrying about it, like Jundo's cat?

Gassho,
Jakuden
SatToday/LAH

[Tom A.]

Thanks everyone

Gassho,
Tom

Sat/Lah

[Tairin]

Being a novice priest is even better at making one feel fraudulent. Although I truly feel this practice and this Sangha live in everything I do these days, trying to advise someone else makes me acutely aware of my own extremely imperfect and deluded views. Let's all be impostors together and just quit worrying about it, like Jundo's cat?

Gassho,
Jakuden

Jakuden, even before you became a novice priest you were a constant source of good advice and guidance here. I know you’ve written a number of posts that have really resonated with me. I think you are a natural.

Thank you for your service.


Tairin
Sat today and lah

(One extra sentence )

[Jakuden]

Jakuden, even before you became a novice priest you were a constant source of good advice and guidance here. I know you’ve written a number of posts that have really resonated with me. I think you are a natural.

Thank you for your service.


Tairin
Sat today and lah

(One extra sentence )

[emoji24] Thank you Tairin! I’m so glad to have been of some help!

Gassho
Jakuden
SatToday


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