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穏 On (Calm)
火 Ka (Fires)
They/She. -
Thank you for your insights and sharing your experiences.I'm no teacher, but in my experience it is ok to lose control sometimes, since losing control means we never had the control to control the controlling in the first place!
In my past struggles with physical anxiety, panic attacks are quite sudden, and I can't sit zazen during a panic attack-- it makes it worse for me. I would just go through the motions and routines that I would take to get back to normal. Zen practice helped me in the long run to kind of prevent it over time-- not stop it in the middle. It has been almost a decade work-in-progress. Some years are a step back, especially if there has been some trauma. When it comes up now I kind of just tell it that I've seen it before and that I know what it's up to, and that it can stay if it wants, but I won't retreat like I used to.
Gassho, sat today lah
I am trying to stick to a regime of sitting Zazen first thing in the morning as I agree it helps set things up for the day. So far it has indeed helped me get into a mindset where doing Zazen amidst chaos is becoming easier. In time I'm hoping to improve further but as you say losing control is ok too.
Gassho
Anna
Sat today穏 On (Calm)
火 Ka (Fires)
They/She.Comment
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Not Autism related but for those of us with ADHD or have loved ones with brains that are not neuro-typical this site is brilliant.
My partner gets their emails and occasionally sends them on to me. This works for me because I get reassurance that (a) I'm different NOT defective and (b) I am reminded that she loves me and does her best to be accepting and understanding - even when the less than brilliant aspects rear their head.
Gassho
Anna
Sat today穏 On (Calm)
火 Ka (Fires)
They/She.Comment
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Yes, my daughter has ADHD, and autism tends to have trouble with poor executive functioning. Now, people told me this for years without ever explaining what it meant. Until I found Cynthia Kim's book "Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate" which I now call the user's manual to my brain.
Poor executive functioning means that a normal task for some people -- following a recipe, managing projects, planning events -- can be an exercise in frustration and confusion for a person with autism. Also, auditory processing is another big one, understanding verbal information can take us longer to process. We're not stupid, we just process differently.
ADHD and autism share certain characteristics, even though they are different. So my daughter and I share tips, experiences, and frustrations also. She knows she won't be judged, and she shares ideas with me that she finds helpful.
Gassho
Kim
St lh
Sent from my SM-G930U using Tapatalk鏡道 | Kyodo (Meian) | "Mirror of the Way"
visiting Unsui
Nothing I say is a teaching, it's just my own opinion.Comment
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That's brilliant Kim.
My partner IMHO has gone above and beyond to learn about how my brain is wired. For the most part this has actually helped our relationship in that she is more understanding and accepts that I am not trying to make her life difficult sometimes.
Getting diagnosed later in life - i was forty something IIRC has had its challenges and I regularly struggle with self-acceptance but hey, life eh...
One of the interesting things is that my best mate who i have been friends with my whole life looks back and he too is now able to explain a myriad of not so positive things i have done over the years. Looking back through my life has also helped him with his own child who has recently been diagnosed ASD.
Thanks for sharing yours and your daughters experience Kim.
Gassho
Anna
Sat today/Lent a hand穏 On (Calm)
火 Ka (Fires)
They/She.Comment
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People started labeling me with stupid acronyms when I was six, but I try not to identify with any of it; I'm a human being; not a DSM IV diagnosis. Due to my executive functioning issues, my mate does most of the adulting, which I know can be very hard on her. On the other hand, she's a hyperverbal triple-shot-espresso extrovert, which can sometimes be very hard on me. My tendency is to shutdown, sometimes rather abruptly (like yesterday); you can almost hear the circuit breakers in my head flipping off. Sound is one of my coal-mine canaries; oversensitivity to loud noise is a signal that my coping skills are a quart low. That's probably why I liked brick-and-mortar Zen centers so much, with their ample opportunities for complete silence. My sitting is non-regulation, on sort of a sliding scale from counting the breath, to following the breath, to shikantaza, and back again, depending upon how disordered, discordant, discursive, and demented my mental state at the moment. Sometimes the best that I can do is to simply sit quietly in the desolation of the smoking ruins. I find great comfort in ritual, and opportunities for quietude and solitude outdoors; practicing a blend of Thich Nhat Hanh's kin hanh and shinrin yoku. I suck at relationships (even on-line ones like this), and said suckage rises and falls like waves along with all the other sequelae. Sometimes I'm simply too deep to make it to the surface.EmmetComment
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Hi Emmet;
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I've always felt you and I are close to being on the same track. it's when you start feeling OK about finding strange objects in the frig or clothes dryer that life becomes comfortable. Right now I spend much of my time and energy helping my partner cope with aging issues. And, who determines that life should be any other way? Thanks again for your teachings and encouragement.
deep bows in gassho, Shokai
stlah
p.s. that last line ( stlah) always makes me think of Stanley in "Streetcar Named Desire"合掌,生開
gassho, Shokai
仁道 生開 / Jindo Shokai
"Open to life in a benevolent way"
https://sarushinzendo.wordpress.com/Comment
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Hi all,
Sorry to resurrect but I wanted to update .... I think I mentioned previously that I was going through an in-depth evaluation and diagnostic process for autism.
Well, I spoke with the neuropsychologist today for the results. He has given the diagnosis of autism spectrum and will authorize treatment to begin for social skills (interactive, not drugs).
I just informed my husband, who is happy about this, as he knows how much I struggle to communicate and how often I am misunderstood. He helped fill out the evaluation papers for my initial assessment and was the first to openly say this is who I am and this is good.
Gassho
Kim
St lh
Sent from my SM-G930U using Tapatalk鏡道 | Kyodo (Meian) | "Mirror of the Way"
visiting Unsui
Nothing I say is a teaching, it's just my own opinion.Comment
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I live in Tsukuba, Science City, home to Japan's Space Program, dozens of think tanks and research labs, and a few Noble Prize winners. I work with profoundly autistic kids as a volunteer, and thus know a couple of researchers on autism (I have no expertise myself).
I have been told that a disproportionately high percentage of the population of Tsukuba is somewhere on the mild side of the autism sprectrum (Aspergers) because a very high percentage of gifted researchers and scientists and other like smart people tend to be. My impression from living here is that it may be so. However, I am not a doctor in any way and probably should not say.
A friend who is "on the spectrum" told me that things have come very far, and there are many ways that people with Aspergers and the like can learn many good "tricks" to compensate for some inability to "read the feeling in the room" and emote. I would not notice he was autistic unless he had told me.
Gassho, J
STLAHALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLEComment
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Brilliant news Kim. Congratulations on the diagnosis. I found being diagnosed ASD with ADHD to be liberating for the most part but I'm still a wee bit too hyper-vigilant about how I'm coming across to others. I wasn't prescribed meds for ASD but take Ritalin for ADHD. Personally I don't like taking Ritalin but my partner would prefer I keep taking it as it takes the less than awesome 'edge' off of my personality and helps me be a lot less reactive (i.e. aggressive) when confronted with challenges. For the ASD I see a Psychiatrist every 8 weeks and she helps me negotiate life in a less destructive way.
I'm genuinely stoked for your diagnosis Kim.
Sending positive vibes to you and your family.
Gassho
Anna
Sat today.穏 On (Calm)
火 Ka (Fires)
They/She.Comment
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I live in Tsukuba, Science City, home to Japan's Space Program, dozens of think tanks and research labs, and a few Noble Prize winners. I work with profoundly autistic kids as a volunteer, and thus know a couple of researchers on autism (I have no expertise myself).
I have been told that a disproportionately high percentage of the population of Tsukuba is somewhere on the mild side of the autism sprectrum (Aspergers) because a very high percentage of gifted researchers and scientists and other like smart people tend to be. My impression from living here is that it may be so. However, I am not a doctor in any way and probably should not say.
A friend who is "on the spectrum" told me that things have come very far, and there are many ways that people with Aspergers and the like can learn many good "tricks" to compensate for some inability to "read the feeling in the room" and emote. I would not notice he was autistic unless he had told me.
Gassho, J
STLAHRe: tricks...I live in Tsukuba, Science City, home to Japan's Space Program, dozens of think tanks and research labs, and a few Noble Prize winners. I work with profoundly autistic kids as a volunteer, and thus know a couple of researchers on autism (I have no expertise myself).
I have been told that a disproportionately high percentage of the population of Tsukuba is somewhere on the mild side of the autism sprectrum (Aspergers) because a very high percentage of gifted researchers and scientists and other like smart people tend to be. My impression from living here is that it may be so. However, I am not a doctor in any way and probably should not say.
A friend who is "on the spectrum" told me that things have come very far, and there are many ways that people with Aspergers and the like can learn many good "tricks" to compensate for some inability to "read the feeling in the room" and emote. I would not notice he was autistic unless he had told me.
Gassho, J
STLAH
I know that myself and many ASD folks tend to be very good a mimicking things. I can't stand crowds and don't enjoy socialising in groups so I became very good at effectively playing the role of being social. Maybe that's why I'm really good with reading between the lines in people's communication, because I am fully engaged in what people write or say rather than just hearing or reading words.
I wonder Jundo if people with ASD find it easier to apply Zen focus on everyday tasks beyond sitting Zazen because personally I find it much easier to give my full attention to everyday life tasks than to sitting Zazen. Then again that may be just because I'm distracted from pain when doing things.
Gassho Anna
Sat today穏 On (Calm)
火 Ka (Fires)
They/She.Comment
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Thank you, everyone, for the support. Jundo, the programs in Japan sound wonderful. I'm devoted to science as well.
Kim
St lh鏡道 | Kyodo (Meian) | "Mirror of the Way"
visiting Unsui
Nothing I say is a teaching, it's just my own opinion.Comment
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Thank you to all who put this here so I may found it. And thank you for offering me the "neuro-diverse" term.
I recently was told by my therapist that she believes I belong in this category, and it seems likely to me that she be right.
Unnecessary to add, I'm in the midst of a process now. But I look forward to getting to the part of reading this thread.
Gassho,
Rinmei
(sat today)Comment
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Jakuden, Tai Shi here. I support neuroscience in all its forms, and, in fact, science completely compatible with science explains where science gives no methodolgy, gives a methodology of logical exploration. Shikantaze differering approaches embody the great storehouse of Buddhism. Learning gives medical scientists solutions. My bipolar disroder with brain leison differers in ways than regular approaches? Not to say that any surgery is ordinary. My brain presents special problems to neurosergery. I know my Dr will solve them.
Gassho
sat/ lahPeaceful, Tai Shi. Ubasoku; calm, supportive,
for positive poetry 優婆塞 台 婆Comment
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