Sitting, Spiritual Bypassing, Journaling

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  • Genjun
    Member
    • May 2018
    • 18

    Sitting, Spiritual Bypassing, Journaling

    Hey Everyone,

    After three years of just sitting, I've learned that just sitting can be used effectively for spiritually bypassing personal problems. In the art of letting go, it's easy (in my experience anyway) to let go too quickly too often that we don't learn some important and helpful lessons from ourselves. "It's all just delusion anyway, so why investigate it?" This ended up with me carrying around a few well-rooted problems for silly amounts of time - I did plenty of letting go but the loops continued. I've taken up journaling as taught by Natalie Goldberg (a Soto practitioner and writer) as a complementary practice to sitting and it has really helped in this tricky territory. Goldberg instructs that in writing practice we should time ourselves, write out whatever comes to mind and keep writing until the timer goes off. It acts as another practice of letting go, but in the process of writing out my thoughts I can usually see the ins and outs of my problems more clearly and often come up with a way to address them.

    I thought I'd share this and recommend the practice of journaling to anyone who suspects they may be spiritually bypassing. If you find that there is something that continually bothers you but you don't think through very much, you might be engaging in this form of resistance to awakening. I think that counselling/psychotherapy works in a similar way, that we explore our problems before letting them go. There is a common misconception that Zen isn't concerned with cultivating the knowledge-kind of insight - it does seem to happen naturally with regular sitting, but sometimes we also have to work through something cognitively before letting it go.

    Gassho.

    Sat today.
    Last edited by Genjun; 09-21-2018, 02:53 AM. Reason: Grammar
  • Jundo
    Treeleaf Founder and Priest
    • Apr 2006
    • 43291

    #2
    Hi Genjun,

    Suzuki Shunryu Roshi famously said ... "Each of you is perfect the way you are ... and you can use a little improvement.”

    I think we live in a day and age when we also wallow in our own stories and emotions, and believe our own bullshit too much. Often, our society, our own families, ourselves just hunt up and fixate on our complexes and make our own problems which we then (having convinced ourself of the existence of the problem) think that we need to solve, thus making the problems have a reality they would not otherwise have. Everybody complains, everybody seems to be a victim, everybody buys into their own thoughts on whatever comes into their mind, everybody sees a shrink, everybody is feeling inadequate or defective, everybody has whatever disease or syndrome of the day they heard about on the 11:00 News.

    On the other hand, there are real issues, real psychological and medical problems, real addictions, real tendencies to abuse (of self and others) and the like that should be treated and cannot be ignored.

    So, I will call for the middle way here.

    Trungpa, one of the first people to speak about "spiritual bypassing" was someone who had real issues, with his drinking, abuse of others sexually and the like, that needed treatment which he disguised as "crazy wisdom" teachings. He ignored his own advice.

    So, if someone has real issues, they should deal with them, get treatment and therapy. Journaling seems like something that might be helpful too. I often write this when people post here about their struggles with depression, anxiety, addictions and the like ...

    Zazen is -NOT- a cure for many things ... it will not fix a bad tooth (just allow you to be present with the toothache ... you had better see a dentist, not a Zen teacher), cure cancer (although it may have some healthful effects and make one more attune to the process of chemotherapy and/or dying), etc. Zen practice will not cure your acne on your face, or fix your flat tire. All it will do is let one "be at one, and whole" ... TRULY ONE ... with one's pimples and punctured wheel, accepting and embracing of each, WHOLLY WHOLE with/as each one. There are many psychological problems or psycho/medical problems such as alcoholism that may require other therapies, although Zen can be part of a 12-Step program or such (a few Zen teachers in America with a drinking problem had to seek outside help). My feeling is that some things are probably best handled by medical, psychological or psychiatric treatment, not Zen teachers.

    My feeling is that receiving outside treatment, medication AND "just sitting" can all work together.
    However, don't then go the other way and use journaling and therapy as an excuse to actually manufacture and give substance to problems and believe your own analysis about yourself. Sitting Zazen is dropping the thoughts about life and ourself to start from a clean slate beyond and right through all the real conditions that need real treatment as well as the self-wallowing bullshit and self-deception that does not.

    Gassho, Jundo

    STLah

    PS - Reminds me of an old joke. Do you know about the "Zen-Freudian" therapist? BOTH the doctor and the patient sit there for an hour and say nothing.
    Last edited by Jundo; 09-21-2018, 06:30 AM.
    ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

    Comment

    • Genjun
      Member
      • May 2018
      • 18

      #3
      Thanks Jundo for providing some more context.

      Sat today.

      Comment

      • Joyo

        #4
        Hi Genjun,

        thank you for sharing your thoughts and ideas. I have been journaling every since I was old enough to put thought down on paper. It's helps me a lot through the years. I journal a variety of things---including when I am feel upset or out-of-sorts in regards to someone or a particular situation. I then often go back a few days or weeks later and read what i wrote. Sometimes (not always), this has helped me to see my mental theater at work, and I will simply pull those pages out, throw them away as a way of letting go of those thoughts. Other times, it's helped me sort through problems or issues without having to communicate to someone else, as it helps me sort my thoughts down when I am unable to understand how I am feeling or why.

        Journaling is a safe place to write whatever you want to write. So if you need time to sort through and talk about your 'bullshit' it's a safe place to do that. You can do both, write about your problems, write about all the things you are grateful for, or some wonderful event that happened to you that day (even if it's as simple as baking a loaf of bread). It's your safe place to not worry about over thinking, over analyzing, and get your thoughts down. It will also help you learn about yourself. I have gone through very dark, depressing times in my life and filled up pages and pages about it. To some that may seem like believing my own thoughts and wallowing in my depression. However, it wasn't. It was my friend that listened to my thoughts without judging if they were rational or not. It was cleansing and healing. A year or two later, I'll go back and read what I wrote and realize how far I've come, and it's a huge encouragement.

        This is personal, but I've been upset with my husband many times about not putting the kids to bed on time and I've written about it in my journal. lol!!! But when I go back and reread that, it's a bit of a reality check to help me realize that he's not so great at that, but he does a lot of other things that I need to focus on and be thankful for. Anyway, that's just a bit of an example of how it has helped.

        Thank you again, for sharing. I haven't journaled much lately, and this post has motivated me to go fill a page (or 4 or 5) =)

        Gassho,
        Joyo
        sat today/lah
        Last edited by Guest; 09-21-2018, 07:45 PM. Reason: typo

        Comment

        • Jishin
          Member
          • Oct 2012
          • 4831

          #5
          IMG_0115.JPG

          Don't take orders from your rock (ego). Just let it sit.

          [emoji3]

          Gasho, Jishin, _/st\_

          Comment

          • Mp

            #6
            Originally posted by Jishin
            [ATTACH]5373[/ATTACH]

            Don't take orders from your rock (ego). Just let it sit.

            [emoji3]

            Gasho, Jishin, _/st\_
            And your point is?

            Doesn't look like folks are doing that. Looks like they are taking responsibility for themselves and understanding their own thoughts and whether they are needed or not. Being mindful of our thoughts and being controlled by our thoughts are two different things ...

            Gassho
            Shingen

            Sat/LAH
            Last edited by Guest; 09-21-2018, 08:20 PM.

            Comment

            • Jundo
              Treeleaf Founder and Priest
              • Apr 2006
              • 43291

              #7
              Joyo, thank you for that.

              What you wrote is a great testament to journaling, and it sounds like you are very very wise in how you approach it.

              I think it is a fine line to sort through our real problems while not getting caught in self-made drama and confusion. It sounds like you are navigating that difference wisely.

              A Zen fellow like me must remind us to always also "Zen journal," which is about our also being aware of the pristine, clear, open "empty" page under all the words which is without judgment of whatever is written upon it, and which is present and holds all the words of thoughts and emotions that we create to place upon the page. What we write, and how tangled we become in the words, is greatly up to us, and we often forget the light and boundless clarity amid the jumble of words and thoughts. Keep it simple, keep discerning what is a real problem and what is one's own self-created confusion.

              Nine Bows, Jundo

              SatTodayLah
              Last edited by Jundo; 09-21-2018, 08:22 PM.
              ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

              Comment

              • Jishin
                Member
                • Oct 2012
                • 4831

                #8
                Hi,

                I think journaling is good in that it teaches the impermanence of thoughts. Don't take thoughts so seriously. They vanish in a blink.

                [emoji3]

                Gasho, Jishin, _/st\_

                Comment

                • Jishin
                  Member
                  • Oct 2012
                  • 4831

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Shingen
                  And your point is?

                  Doesn't look like folks are doing that. Looks like they are taking responsibility for themselves and understanding their own thoughts and whether they are needed or not. Being mindful of our thoughts and being controlled by our thoughts are two different things ...

                  Gassho
                  Shingen

                  Sat/LAH
                  IMG_0116.JPG

                  Clarity appears when when sitting still. That's all.

                  [emoji3]

                  Gasho, Jishin, _/st\_

                  Comment

                  • Mp

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Joyo
                    Hi Genjun,

                    thank you for sharing your thoughts and ideas. I have been journaling every since I was old enough to put thought down on paper. It's helps me a lot through the years. I journal a variety of things---including when I am feel upset or out-of-sorts in regards to someone or a particular situation. I then often go back a few days or weeks later and read what i wrote. Sometimes (not always), this has helped me to see my mental theater at work, and I will simply pull those pages out, throw them away as a way of letting go of those thoughts. Other times, it's helped me sort through problems or issues without having to communicate to someone else, as it helps me sort my thoughts down when I am unable to understand how I am feeling or why.

                    Journaling is a safe place to write whatever you want to write. So if you need time to sort through and talk about your 'bullshit' it's a safe place to do that. You can do both, write about your problems, write about all the things you are grateful for, or some wonderful event that happened to you that day (even if it's as simple as baking a loaf of bread). It's your safe place to not worry about over thinking, over analyzing, and get your thoughts down. It will also help you learn about yourself. I have gone through very dark, depressing times in my life and filled up pages and pages about it. To some that may seem like believing my own thoughts and wallowing in my depression. However, it wasn't. It was my friend that listened to my thoughts without judging if they were rational or not. It was cleansing and healing. A year or two later, I'll go back and read what I wrote and realize how far I've come, and it's a huge encouragement.

                    This is personal, but I've been upset with my husband many times about not putting the kids to bed on time and I've written about it in my journal. lol!!! But when I go back and reread that, it's a bit of a reality check to help me realize that he's not so great at that, but he does a lot of other things that I need to focus on and be thankful for. Anyway, that's just a bit of an example of how it has helped.

                    Thank you again, for sharing. I haven't journaled much lately, and this post has motivated me to go fill a page (or 4 or 5) =)

                    Gassho,
                    Joyo
                    sat today/lah
                    Thank you Joyo, very well said. Journaling, like many things can be a healthy way to move past and overcome curtain emotions or experiences we face or have faced.

                    When we sit zazen we just sit, nothing more. It is not a time to reflect, investigate, problem solve, or the like ... it is just a time to be with whatever has arisen and allow it to be or fall away on it's own. That being said, there are times in zazen when true feelings do come up and help us see that they do require some care and attention. So when we are done with our sitting and have gotten up off our cushions, journaling can be an affective way to identify, process, and let go of past experiences (or currant ones for that matter). This also applies to those thoughts and feelings that arise and are driven by the ego or the mind theatre and don't require self-reflection.

                    I personally feel that a lot of what has been happening these days in the Buddhist world, with teacher's abusing students, or abusing the positions that they are in comes from not looking at one's own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. If one thinks they are above all that, then they are deluded.

                    There is a time to sit, a time self-reflect, a time to know what is real, and a time to know what is not ... this can be a juggling act and quite difficult at times, but how do we know which is which if we don't try?

                    Gassho
                    Shingen

                    Sat/LAH

                    Comment

                    • Mp

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Jishin
                      [ATTACH]5374[/ATTACH]

                      Clarity appears when when sitting still. That's all.

                      [emoji3]

                      Gasho, Jishin, _/st\_
                      Not necessarily ... when we sit and truly allow things to be, it can be quite overwhelming for some folks. If some folks use their lives and everything in it to distract themselves from life itself, then sitting still with no distractions doesn't always bring clarity. Clarity I feel comes in time.

                      Gassho
                      Shingen

                      Sat/LAH

                      Comment

                      • Jishin
                        Member
                        • Oct 2012
                        • 4831

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Shingen
                        Not necessarily ... when we sit and truly allow things to be, it can be quite overwhelming for some folks. If some folks use their lives and everything in it to distract themselves from life itself, then sitting still with no distractions doesn't always bring clarity. Clarity I feel comes in time.

                        Gassho
                        Shingen

                        Sat/LAH
                        Yes. You are right.

                        Nine bows even though I hate to bow. [emoji3]

                        Gasho, Jishin, _/st\_

                        Comment

                        • Genjun
                          Member
                          • May 2018
                          • 18

                          #13
                          Originally posted by Joyo
                          To some that may seem like believing my own thoughts and wallowing in my depression. However, it wasn't.
                          I wholeheartedly agree. My experience with journalling has not been that it solidifies anything, rather it unravels it. I can definitely see how some folks would think that writing out thoughts is just getting lost in confusion, but it's really more like pooping. Sorry for the analogy, but when we poop well we're much healthier.

                          The side effects of journaling can be really helpful, like noticing how much money I spend on junk food and realizing that because I have a family now, that money doesn't just belong to me. It brings that habit into my awareness, enabling me to change it and take better care of my family. And you're right Joyo, it also helps us recognize what's our own noise and not the true noise of other people, and we end up taking a broader perspective.

                          Comment

                          • Genjun
                            Member
                            • May 2018
                            • 18

                            #14
                            Originally posted by Jishin

                            Clarity appears when when sitting still. That's all.
                            I agree with you Jishin, just not in every case. For example, sitting still and letting go doesn't resolve a psychological trauma. Sitting still can definitely play a big part in the resolving, but it also needs to be talked about and/or written about if that person is going to recover fully.

                            Comment

                            • Jishin
                              Member
                              • Oct 2012
                              • 4831

                              #15
                              Originally posted by Genjun
                              I agree with you Jishin, just not in every case. For example, sitting still and letting go doesn't resolve a psychological trauma. Sitting still can definitely play a big part in the resolving, but it also needs to be talked about and/or written about if that person is going to recover fully.
                              Yes, you are right.

                              Gasho, Jishin, _/st\_

                              Comment

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