I return to anger.
I have always seen the running theme of my practice is returning. Return to the mat. Return to my breath. Return to the precepts. Return to the clear and empty mind. Return to a sense of ease.
However
I feel anger for how our planet is being treated.
I feel rage for the cast of clowns that we pay to take care of us.
I feel fear for vulnerable communities being threatened.
I feel sick that people are happy to let it all happen.
It feels unfair and we have no options.
And I return to anger.
There is a podcast, Huberman labs. The host was interviewing Dick Schwardz. Dick is the creator of a type of therapy called Internal Family Systems (IFS). The gist of it is that our psyche is made of many different archetypes and sometimes a part of us that should be running the show, gets put in exile and a different, unqualified part of you subs in for it. Dr. Schwartz asks the listeners a series of questions to get in touch with a certain part of yourself that you find disagreeable. I chose to dig into my feelings of righteous indignation and it started a bit of a self exploration over the last few days. My biggest take away was that I don’t hate people, I hate behaviors.
I think all of us are struggling to some degree with reconciling good and bad anger. How to use it. Where to put it. How to transmute it in to action. Listen and learn from it and how it fits with the precepts. I decided to return to the vow of not indulging in anger today. I wanted to share what I came across in hope of it bringing comfort to those of us that are also struggling. Below are a few takes on the precepts. Not harboring ill will stands out to me.
There is also a few paragraphs from Reb Anderson Roshi’s book Being Upright that helped a lot in putting my perspective back in in its proper place
I feel better after doing the work. I know this will take a lifetime to understand and be with. But for now,
I return to a sense of ease.
I hope everyone is finding ways to take care of themselves. I think we are in for a long ride
Gassho
Onsho
satlah
Reb Anderson: A disciple of Buddha does not harbor ill will.
SFZC: I vow not to harbor ill will.
Treeleaf: To seek as you can, in this body and life, to refrain from all anger. -
Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the selfless Dharma, not contriving reality for the self is called the Precept of Not Indulging in Anger.
Dogen: Not advancing, not retreating, not real, not empty. There is an ocean of bright clouds. There is an ocean of solemn clouds.
Zen Peacemakers: Transforming suffering into wisdom. This is the precept of Not Being Angry.
Without a commitment to refraining from all evil and practicing all good, we will be deeply confused and unable to wisely discriminate between appropriate and inappropriate actions. Not accepting the teaching of the entire universe, if someone asks for our help or requests some good deed that is difficult or inconvenient for us, we might not want to comply with the request. We might even feel irritated and imposed upon, and become angry at the person for asking us to do some wholesome deed. In such a case we are getting angry when we should not: this is inappropriate anger.
If, on the other hand, someone were to offer a reward for committing some unethical act that was easy and convenient, we might not necessarily be bothered; we might feel quite comfortable with the thought of carrying out the act. In this case we might not feel angry when, in fact, anger would be appropriate.
Hearing about this precept, people often ask, But what about injustice? Shouldn't we be angry about injustice? Anger with injustice does not necessarily violate the precept of not being angry. How is this so? Thoroughly studying ourselves in terms of these bodhisattva precepts, we come to see the light of the precepts. Seeing this light, we respond appropriately, in a liberating way, without any deliberation. The light of the precepts shows us the way, but anger and fear obscure the light. Still, being gentle, loving, and fearless with our anger, we become intimate with it, and the light reemerges. If we experience or witness injustice in the world and we are intimate with it, we see the light of the precepts. If anger arises in this light, it is no longer personal anger. It is the energy and activity of all beings, and it is appropriate and beneficial. Keeping an eye on the light of the precepts, we will find the way of liberating action for all those concerned: the unjust and the oppressed alike.
One of Shakyamuni Buddha's most important teachings is called the lions roar, because his voice was so fierce and powerful that beings in all ten directions turned to listen. Buddha's roar was not an expression of anger, but his way of declaring that all beings fully possess the wisdom and virtue of the buddhas.
I have always seen the running theme of my practice is returning. Return to the mat. Return to my breath. Return to the precepts. Return to the clear and empty mind. Return to a sense of ease.
However
I feel anger for how our planet is being treated.
I feel rage for the cast of clowns that we pay to take care of us.
I feel fear for vulnerable communities being threatened.
I feel sick that people are happy to let it all happen.
It feels unfair and we have no options.
And I return to anger.
There is a podcast, Huberman labs. The host was interviewing Dick Schwardz. Dick is the creator of a type of therapy called Internal Family Systems (IFS). The gist of it is that our psyche is made of many different archetypes and sometimes a part of us that should be running the show, gets put in exile and a different, unqualified part of you subs in for it. Dr. Schwartz asks the listeners a series of questions to get in touch with a certain part of yourself that you find disagreeable. I chose to dig into my feelings of righteous indignation and it started a bit of a self exploration over the last few days. My biggest take away was that I don’t hate people, I hate behaviors.
I think all of us are struggling to some degree with reconciling good and bad anger. How to use it. Where to put it. How to transmute it in to action. Listen and learn from it and how it fits with the precepts. I decided to return to the vow of not indulging in anger today. I wanted to share what I came across in hope of it bringing comfort to those of us that are also struggling. Below are a few takes on the precepts. Not harboring ill will stands out to me.
There is also a few paragraphs from Reb Anderson Roshi’s book Being Upright that helped a lot in putting my perspective back in in its proper place
I feel better after doing the work. I know this will take a lifetime to understand and be with. But for now,
I return to a sense of ease.
I hope everyone is finding ways to take care of themselves. I think we are in for a long ride
Gassho
Onsho
satlah
Reb Anderson: A disciple of Buddha does not harbor ill will.
SFZC: I vow not to harbor ill will.
Treeleaf: To seek as you can, in this body and life, to refrain from all anger. -
Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the selfless Dharma, not contriving reality for the self is called the Precept of Not Indulging in Anger.
Dogen: Not advancing, not retreating, not real, not empty. There is an ocean of bright clouds. There is an ocean of solemn clouds.
Zen Peacemakers: Transforming suffering into wisdom. This is the precept of Not Being Angry.
From Being Upright:
Without a commitment to refraining from all evil and practicing all good, we will be deeply confused and unable to wisely discriminate between appropriate and inappropriate actions. Not accepting the teaching of the entire universe, if someone asks for our help or requests some good deed that is difficult or inconvenient for us, we might not want to comply with the request. We might even feel irritated and imposed upon, and become angry at the person for asking us to do some wholesome deed. In such a case we are getting angry when we should not: this is inappropriate anger.
If, on the other hand, someone were to offer a reward for committing some unethical act that was easy and convenient, we might not necessarily be bothered; we might feel quite comfortable with the thought of carrying out the act. In this case we might not feel angry when, in fact, anger would be appropriate.
Hearing about this precept, people often ask, But what about injustice? Shouldn't we be angry about injustice? Anger with injustice does not necessarily violate the precept of not being angry. How is this so? Thoroughly studying ourselves in terms of these bodhisattva precepts, we come to see the light of the precepts. Seeing this light, we respond appropriately, in a liberating way, without any deliberation. The light of the precepts shows us the way, but anger and fear obscure the light. Still, being gentle, loving, and fearless with our anger, we become intimate with it, and the light reemerges. If we experience or witness injustice in the world and we are intimate with it, we see the light of the precepts. If anger arises in this light, it is no longer personal anger. It is the energy and activity of all beings, and it is appropriate and beneficial. Keeping an eye on the light of the precepts, we will find the way of liberating action for all those concerned: the unjust and the oppressed alike.
One of Shakyamuni Buddha's most important teachings is called the lions roar, because his voice was so fierce and powerful that beings in all ten directions turned to listen. Buddha's roar was not an expression of anger, but his way of declaring that all beings fully possess the wisdom and virtue of the buddhas.
). If I do not act like this, my son of 3 years old certainly will try to kill himself somehow, grabbing knifes, climbing windows, Jumping with his head in the floor, etc.
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