Parenting win!

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  • MalleableGirlParts
    Member
    • Jul 2024
    • 48

    Parenting win!

    Ok, this is the last one for now. I'm not sure if I've shared here that I've been exposing my children to Zen Buddhism. I've taken them to a couple of centers, read to them and shown them meditation. I've meditated several times with one of my sons and he has seemed to take to it well. Anyway, apparently last night he decided to meditate for three minutes on his own before bed! And he asked my ex if that was ok for him to do. Of course!!

    I'm so incredibly proud of him. He sits exactly as I've described it to him. He keeps his eyes open and sits up straight and does so well. I'm working on the other two, but anyway, yay!
    Gasshō Jenn
    Sat Lah
  • Jundo
    Treeleaf Founder and Priest
    • Apr 2006
    • 40263

    #2
    Originally posted by MalleableGirlParts
    Ok, this is the last one for now. I'm not sure if I've shared here that I've been exposing my children to Zen Buddhism. I've taken them to a couple of centers, read to them and shown them meditation. I've meditated several times with one of my sons and he has seemed to take to it well. Anyway, apparently last night he decided to meditate for three minutes on his own before bed! And he asked my ex if that was ok for him to do. Of course!!

    I'm so incredibly proud of him. He sits exactly as I've described it to him. He keeps his eyes open and sits up straight and does so well. I'm working on the other two, but anyway, yay!
    That is lovely.

    My wife and I actually made the decision not to encourage our son and daughter to sit Zazen. Rather, they are exposed (constantly! ) to my doing so and, in my belief, when they are grown and can appreciate it more, they may turn to Zazen in their own lives. Of course, the main job now is just to create a nice environment for them, and a sense of ethics. They also get lessons in topics like accepting life, the beauty of the world, the meaning of death (e.g., when our cat passed), but nothing too overtly Buddhist. Oh, and there are Buddha statues all around, and I speak about Buddha here and there, so they do get exposed.
    My son Leon once asked if dad was bad because "he's always sitting in the corner" for time out. So, I explained, "Oh, it is good to sometimes just sit quietly, not think about things, just be peaceful."

    It never caught on around here (I still wish it had, and I am not sure why), but I also tried a few times to introduce this ...

    One thing I would like to do is find some new ways to introduce our children to Buddhist and Zen Traditions. I came up with this a couple of years ago, "Buddhist Family Holidays", to recognize our own holiday traditions in the Spring and at the end of the year (there are other holidays which might be added too for other times of the year, like Bodhidharma's Birthday. Right now the two holidays we have begun with our Buddha's Birthday in the Spring and Buddha's Enlightenment Day, Rohatsu, in December). I thought it a great way to get the kids involved. However, nothing ever came of the program and it is rather neglected, just sitting there. The next holiday, Vesak, is in May in Japanese Tradition.

    https://web.archive.org/web/20160415...yholidays/home
    Here are a couple of flashbacks from the kids sitting with me ...
    .



    And I did a few Zazenkai with Sada on my back (obviously awhile back)...
    .

    .


    Gassho, J
    stlah
    Last edited by Jundo; 09-28-2024, 03:55 AM.
    ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

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    • MalleableGirlParts
      Member
      • Jul 2024
      • 48

      #3
      Originally posted by Jundo

      That is lovely.

      My wife and I actually made the decision not to encourage our son and daughter to sit Zazen. Rather, they are exposed (constantly! ) to my doing so and, in my belief, when they are grown and can appreciate it more, they may turn to Zazen in their own lives. Of course, the main job now is just to create a nice environment for them, and a sense of ethics. They also get lessons in topics like accepting life, the beauty of the world, the meaning of death (e.g., when our cat passed), but nothing too overtly Buddhist. Oh, and there are Buddha statues all around, and I speak about Buddha here and there, so they do get exposed.
      My son Leon once asked if dad was bad because "he's always sitting in the corner" for time out. So, I explained, "Oh, it is good to sometimes just sit quietly, not think about things, just be peaceful."

      It never caught on around here (I still wish it had, and I am not sure why), but I also tried a few times to introduce this ...



      Here are a couple of flashbacks from the kids sitting with me ...
      .



      And I did a few Zazenkai with Sada on my back (obviously awhile back)...
      .

      .


      Gassho, J
      stlah
      OMG I love these videos so much!

      That is a wonderful approach! I don't think I'm being pushy about it. My ex does periodically bring them to the local Methodist Church and although it isn't for me, I don't contradict what they learn there. There are lessons to be learned in anything.

      They've been exposed to meditation at their school, which I think is wonderful. I hope, in encouraging that, that they will find a place for them to retreat to whenever they need.

      I suppose, more than anything else, I just want them to understand that there is a whole world outside of where they live. And to be open and accepting of different opinions and food and music.
      Gasshō Jenn
      Sat Lah

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      • Tairin
        Member
        • Feb 2016
        • 2816

        #4
        My approach is similar to Jundo’s. I never hid that I was sitting or studying or sewing a Rakusu or whatever but I also never once encouraged my son to sit (or not). My approach is to live by example.

        The closest we’ve come to making anything Buddhist formal in this house is that at suppertime everyone must come up with three things from the day that they are grateful for. Maybe eventually my son decides on his own to take up this practice. Or maybe not. I am fine either way


        Tairin
        Sat today and lah
        泰林 - Tai Rin - Peaceful Woods

        All of life is our temple

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