How to be Sick - Chapter 11

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  • Kokuu
    Dharma Transmitted Priest
    • Nov 2012
    • 7322

    How to be Sick - Chapter 11

    Disclaimer: This group is not part of the regular Treeleaf forum. To take part, you must have registered on the original thread (https://www.treeleaf.org/forums/show...ase-Read-Agree) and agreed to the group rules.


    In this chapter Toni talks about Tonglen practice. I imagine that most people here know what this practice is and have probably tried it. It doesn’t resonate for everyone but, similarly to her, it has been such a really important part of my illness practice that Jundo asked me to lead the Tonglen sessions here that Washin and I share every Sunday.

    So, while you can read what Toni has to say, I will just give a little of my own history with the practice.

    After I had a major illness crash in the early 2000s, I asked for a local spiritual healer to come to my house. At the time I didn’t know that she was (and still is) the co-ordinator for Canterbury Tibet Link which is a Tibetan Buddhism practice group under the auspices of Tibetan teachers. To be honest, the healing itself did nothing but as a passing comment on leaving she said I needed to read Pema Chödrön’s book When Things Fall Apart. It was from there that I first met with Tonglen.

    As Toni says, Tonglen practice twists the normal kind of healing meditation (breathe in health, breathe out all the negative stuff) on its head so that we breathe in the suffering of others and send them loving kindness. Often, we work with kinds of suffering we experience ourselves, such as the pain and grief of illness, so that we see our suffering is part of a wider web of experience and we feel for those people and beings who are going through what we are going through. And although here at Treeleaf we have a formal practice of Tonglen (here), the most useful part of the practice is that it can be used any time we encounter suffering in our daily life, whether it is our own or other people’s, and as most of us know encountering suffering happens a lot in chronic illness.

    I practiced for a time with Buddhist teacher Ken McLeod, a Canadian who studied with and translated for the Tibetan master Kyabje Kalu Rinpoche (1905-1989). Ken became ill during a three year retreat and would just lie in bed doing Tonglen, so the practice became very important to him. He went on to translate one of the most important commentaries on mind training and Tonglen and teach it to others, of which I was a grateful recipient.

    When we are sick, it is easy to feel alone and isolated. It is also easy to feel helpless and filled with negative thoughts. It may seem counterintuitive but, for me, including the suffering of others and generating loving kindness in Tonglen practice takes me out of the immediate focus on myself and whatever is happening for me. Similarly, at times when I am faced with the incredible suffering of others, such as on the news, it gives a way of staying with that suffering without feeling overwhelmed.

    As ever, feel free to respond to the following questions or anything else in chapter eleven which stood out for you.

    Have you tried the practice of Tonglen and, if so, have you found it useful in dealing with your illness or the illness or a person you care for?

    If you haven’t tried Tonglen, do you think it might be something you could find useful? Do you have other practices that work in the same way for you?



    The Treeleaf Tonglen Practice Circle meets each Sunday at 8pm UK time (3pm East Coast USA, 12pm West Coast) in the Scheduled Sitting Room (SSR) so feel free to join us or sit along with the latest recording: https://www.treeleaf.org/forums/foru...RACTICE-CIRCLE

    Gassho
    Kokuu
    -sattoday/lah-
  • Meian
    Member
    • Apr 2015
    • 1686

    #2
    When we are sick, it is easy to feel alone and isolated. It is also easy to feel helpless and filled with negative thoughts. It may seem counterintuitive but, for me, including the suffering of others and generating loving kindness in Tonglen practice takes me out of the immediate focus on myself and whatever is happening for me. Similarly, at times when I am faced with the incredible suffering of others, such as on the news, it gives a way of staying with that suffering without feeling overwhelmed.
    Yes, I agree on both points. Reaching out to others helps redirect my focus by caring for others instead. Also, although I don't watch the news, learning of others' suffering and being able to feel the suffering of others, I do find that helping others gives a way to relieve that suffering so I am less overwhelmed and can be present with fewer problems.

    However, I had started with another practice many years ago, an energy medicine outside the scope of this forum, and while I was considering this topic I realized it's a big reason why I don't practice Tonglen more often. Reiki (I think) is not a subject for this forum, but I started with Reiki in the early 2000's. I tend to naturally use Reiki when confronted with the suffering of others. I think my subconscious fear of "taking on" negative energy is what prevents me from defaulting to Tonglen, although I understand that the energy is transformed, and there would never be a problem.


    Have you tried the practice of Tonglen and, if so, have you found it useful in dealing with your illness or the illness or a person you care for?
    I have tried the practice of Tonglen, yes. But not in this capacity, only in the practice circle at Treeleaf. Unfortunately, it happens at a time I cannot attend. However, since it is recorded, I can set an alarm or schedule a time to practice to the recording at a time that works better for me (as I do with other Treeleaf events). In this way, I can determine whether I find it useful in helping illnesses or transforming negative energy, and perhaps adjust my "default setting" to use both.


    If you haven’t tried Tonglen, do you think it might be something you could find useful? Do you have other practices that work in the same way for you?
    Well, as mentioned above, my default practice is Reiki, because I've worked with it the longest, and it happens naturally for me (usually).

    How do thoughts travel? How does energy travel? I'm sure Tonglen helps, and somehow Reiki helps as well. I HAVE practiced Tonglen, but not enough, and certainly not enough "on the go" like I do with Reiki, so I will change that.

    I wish to research the Canadian teacher mentioned who translated the teachings on Tonglen so I can learn a bit more about it (because that's what I do!), but otherwise, I plan to schedule times to practice with Kokuu's Tonglen recordings.


    I'd love to get others' perspectives on this --

    -- I'm curious to know how/if others have used Tonglen and how it goes for them?

    -- if others have other practices they also use, either alone or in addition to Tonglen?

    -- if others are regular or occasional Tonglen practitioners, what have you noticed in your practice, has it helped you or others in any way?



    gassho, meian st lh
    鏡道 |​ Kyodo (Meian)
    "Mirror of the Way"
    visiting Unsui, not a teacher

    Comment

    • Naiko
      Member
      • Aug 2019
      • 858

      #3
      I was also introduced to Tonglen through Pema Chodron’s books, but it was not something I practiced regularly until this past Ango. In that short time, I have found it helpful to loosen a fixation with my own woes and feel more connected to others. Pre-Covid, I similarly used a casual sort of Metta practice when I found myself in a miserable state of mind, feeling ill and like a raw nerve ending while commuting to work in the crowded subway. When I caught myself giving someone/everyone the stink eye, I’d stop and direct Metta to them, and everyone on the train. It was very effective.

      I also find Tonglen is practicing/training courage to be with very challenging situations and feelings without turning away. I hope this practice will saturate our reactions, actions, intentions off the cushion.

      Meian, your comments about your Reiki practice are intriguing. I received a Level 1 attunement many years ago but my practice lapsed. I confess the possibility of energy transfer during Tonglen never occurred to me.
      Gassho,
      Naiko
      st lah

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