Buddha-Basics (Part VI) — Speaking Right

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  • Jundo
    Treeleaf Founder and Priest
    • Apr 2006
    • 39450

    Buddha-Basics (Part VI) — Speaking Right

    We continue our stroll along the Eightfold Path with Right Speech, the first of three branches devoted to ‘Ethical Conduct’ …

    The words passing our lips have power to be weapons or constructive tools, to help or hurt others, express care or disdain, make enemies or friends, start wars or bring peace.

    The Buddha advised that we should:

    …abstain from false speech, especially deliberate lies…
    …abstain from slanderous speech and words used maliciously against others…
    …abstain from harsh words that offend or hurt others…
    …abstain from idle gossip.


    This means that we should, as best we can amid the complexities of life, seek to tell the truth, to speak lovingly, warmly and gently, and to be careful in our words.

    Thich Nhat Hanh has sometimes worded it this way:

    Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I am committed to cultivate loving speech and deep listening in order to bring joy and happiness to others and relieve others of their suffering. Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering, I am committed to learn to speak truthfully, with words that inspire self-confidence, joy, and hope. I am determined not to spread news that I do not know to be certain and not to criticize or condemn things of which I am not sure. I will refrain from uttering words that can cause division or discord, or that can cause the family or the community to break. I will make all efforts to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.
    CLICK HERE for today’s Sit-A-Long video.



    Remember: recording ends soon after the beginning bells; a sitting time of 15 to 35 minutes is recommended.
    Last edited by Jundo; 03-21-2020, 03:52 PM.
    ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE
  • Ishin
    Member
    • Jul 2013
    • 1359

    #2
    I am inspired to write to this for two reasons.

    One I am sure Jundo would like to know that someone actually is watching these. Thank you so much for posting these wonderful lessons.

    Second, I wish to humbly offer my observations on correcting children as the father of three. It is of course appropriate to correct children, however Yelling and Screaming at them is not. It is possible that discipline itself be calm quiet and loving. When children are misbehaving then this is a great opportunity for teaching. Why do you want them to do or not do something? Sometimes your children are just being kids and driving you crazy. Maybe YOU are the one who needs time out If you are calm, but often critical and demeaning then this can be just as harmful. Indeed having children is a great vehicle for constant practice!

    What I really want to speak to here is balance. If you are only talking to your kids when you need to correct them, then this isn't balanced. I have found that complimenting them when they are doing something RIGHT is just as important. Acknowledging their good behavior, showing your appreciation for what they are doing well, praising them for being GOOD works wonders!!! And by the way this works even better if you and your significant other provide an example by doing this with each other.
    I had my 8 year old son say to me recently "Dad, thanks for working so hard for us." Wow!
    Grateful for your practice

    Comment

    • Eugene
      Member
      • Oct 2013
      • 3

      #3
      Thank you both for this teaching. I too am listening to all the talks and am listening deeply.

      I just started practicing Zazen and am mindful that I should not practice with an end in mind. Just sit...
      nevertheless I do hope that over time I will become a better husband, better father, better leader and fellow human being. At times these seem to be conflicting thoughts, yet that is how I feel. Is this wrong?

      eugene

      Comment

      • Jundo
        Treeleaf Founder and Priest
        • Apr 2006
        • 39450

        #4
        Originally posted by Eugene
        Thank you both for this teaching. I too am listening to all the talks and am listening deeply.

        I just started practicing Zazen and am mindful that I should not practice with an end in mind. Just sit...
        nevertheless I do hope that over time I will become a better husband, better father, better leader and fellow human being. At times these seem to be conflicting thoughts, yet that is how I feel. Is this wrong?

        eugene
        Hi Eugene,

        No, not wrong at all. I do believe that this practice makes us with time better and gentler people, friends, spouses, moms and dads, citizens of the world.

        It is just that, hand in hand, we also learn to live free of need to be beyond just this.

        How to say? Maybe we "get and make better" even as, simultaneously, we also learn freedom from all need to "get and make better". Both at once, as one. A "cake-no-cake and non-eating it too" Practice!

        Gassho, J
        ALL OF LIFE IS OUR TEMPLE

        Comment

        • Shokai
          Treeleaf Priest
          • Mar 2009
          • 6391

          #5
          Thank you _/\_, I too read and listen
          合掌,生開
          gassho, Shokai

          仁道 生開 / Jindo Shokai

          "Open to life in a benevolent way"

          https://sarushinzendo.wordpress.com/

          Comment

          • Joryu
            Member
            • Jan 2014
            • 106

            #6

            Comment

            • Shugen
              Treeleaf Unsui
              • Nov 2007
              • 4535

              #7
              Gassho,
              Shugen

              #sattoday




              Shugen
              明道 修眼
              Meido Shugen
              明道 修眼

              Comment

              • Byokan
                Treeleaf Unsui
                • Apr 2014
                • 4288

                #8


                Gassho
                Lisa
                sat today
                展道 渺寛 Tendō Byōkan
                Please take my words with a big grain of salt. I know nothing. Wisdom is only found in our whole-hearted practice together.

                Comment

                • Kokuu
                  Treeleaf Priest
                  • Nov 2012
                  • 6785

                  #9
                  Ah, I have one of those statues and I always thought it was a naga. Good to know the story behind it. Mine has seven heads.

                  Gassho
                  Kokuu
                  #sattoday

                  Comment

                  • Dave d
                    Member
                    • Jan 2015
                    • 42

                    #10
                    Gasho,
                    Dave sat today.

                    Comment

                    • Josan
                      Member
                      • Aug 2013
                      • 137

                      #11
                      Thank you Jundo. I'm trying to imagine Buddha as my mother and my mother as Buddha
                      Gassho,
                      David
                      sattoday
                      If you miss the moment, you miss your life - John Daido Loori

                      Comment

                      • Catherine
                        Member
                        • Apr 2015
                        • 46

                        #12
                        Thank you Jundo for these talks which I am finding particularly relevant in association with the beginners talks on sitting. Right speech - and particularly the non-speech of silence have long been a preoccupation for me. I have often found myself judging others who speak too much (an irritation in which my small mind has indulged itself) and my impatience with this can make itself known in non-verbal ways - little gestures which I realise now are a form of harmful speech. Conversely, while I try to exercise diplomacy in speech by not interrupting others or talking over them, I know that anxious situations can lead me to speak too directly, an intemperence for which I have chastised myself in the past. I'm learning that sitting and being patient with my impatience (while not thinking that it's ok) might bring the stillness which will keep me from hurting others. I say 'might' because I am still a novice sitter and have a great deal to learn but what I'm learning from others has given me faith.
                        Thanks to all who have posted on this,
                        Gassho,
                        Cathy
                        Sat today
                        Gassho,

                        Cathy

                        Sat today

                        Comment

                        • Troy
                          Member
                          • Sep 2013
                          • 1318

                          #13
                          Thank you


                          ..sat2day•
                          合掌

                          Comment

                          • Jika
                            Member
                            • Jun 2014
                            • 1337

                            #14
                            治 Ji
                            花 Ka

                            Comment

                            • Cyd

                              #15


                              Sat2day

                              Comment

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