The Zen Master's Dance - 7 - Fukan Zazengi (Middle of p. 32 to Middle of p. 37)

[Jundo]

Sorry, a little late this week ...

We continue from the middle of page 32, "We can still see the traces of the Buddha Sakyamuni," stopping right BEFORE page 37, "Give up even the aim of becoming a Buddha."

Dogen says that we should generally have a quiet and clean room in which to sit, not too hot or cold. Yet, we should be able to sit ANYWHERE when the heart becomes a "quiet and clean space, not too hot or cold." Please describe Zazen mind in a difficult or uncomfortable place or circumstance, when the heart became a "quiet and clean space, not too hot or cold."

Perhaps, this week, as homework, sit in a rather disturbing place with the heart a "quiet and clean space, not too hot or cold."

Also, rain is just rain, yet a farmer may welcome it, while a picnicker will despise it.

Can you describe a difficult time in your life which you absolutely despised ... yet also describe how its rain is just rain?

Gassho, J

STLah

[Hosui]

It’s not as if these weekly assignments offer me even a creative break from the singleness of my interfused zen purpose — which is perhaps Jundo’s cunning intention here — as this week my Dogen-inspired monomaniacal energies are revealing the transitoriness of our unreal lives that form the basis of our practice (see Muchu Setsumu chapter in Shobogenzo). William Blake misspoke when he suggested we'd be less oppressed if only we’d throw off our mind-forged manacles. Hate to break it to you Bill, but it's the other way round. Said manacles are where we're at, the full extent of our practice, no prison break coming up. We need to knowingly wear those oppressive manacles, sitting with the unreal, the dewdrop, the dream, the bubble, the flash of lightning, the RAIN of this transitory unreality. The ANYWHERE / ANYWHEN is the real within the transitory dream of our lives, and our precept-inspired actions point the way (to where we already are, in fact). BTW, I don’t think I’ve ever despised myself, and if I have it's all been part of this helpful game of bondage. Pass the handcuffs.

Gassho
Hosui
sat/lah

[Jundo]

[Koriki]

After reading this section I went to a part of the forested park near my home where they were repaving the road that runs through it. I sat zazen at a bench about 100ft from the work, listening to the endless noises during a hot summer day. Pretty quickly I noticed that the noises just kind of blended together and actually seemed helpful in comparison to the usual silence I sit in. The heat wasn't problematic either. Honestly, it was a bit easier to sit without distraction when there were several major "distractions" around me. Maybe the process of not getting caught up with the beeps, ground shaking, and truck noises helped make it easier to do the same with my own thoughts? Interesting and surprising results.

Gassho,
Koriki
s@lah

[Jundo]

The real distraction of construction is between the ears, more than outside.

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Gassho, J
stlah

[Hokuu]

A very small thing, but I did a short zazen before an important call with a customer, which brought more balance to my heart and a gentler speech as a result

Gassho
Hokuu

[Jundo]

[Furyu]

I have been on the road for about a month, as we drive from British Columbia to Ontario and back, visiting family. About 8,000km, towing a small camping trailer (14ft). This to say that it has been difficult trying to do the homework from this section… The best I could manage was my awkward attempts at doing zazen in the car while my partner drives, or finding the least awkward setup to do zazen in our little trailer, usually staring at the door of the mini-fridge. So, I’ve had awkward zazen, but not in a disturbing place. I will have to try that at a later time.

“Despise” is such a strong feeling. I’m not sure I can find a moment quite that awful. Not that I haven’t had unpleasant experiences, but often the danger of them, or the awfulness of the situations is only established after the fact, upon reflection, once we are no longer in the situation. At that time, one can see both the awfulness of the experience and that it simply was whatever it was. However, one of my worst moments was probably several years ago when I had to submit a formal review of a colleague. I felt that I couldn’t write a positive review with integrity, and it was extremely challenging to strike the right tone in what I wrote. I spent a few agonizing days with this. After the fact, I kicked myself for not finding a way to be kinder, more gentle. Yet, some things had to be said, the culmination of the situation was not of my making, and I did in the moment the best I was able to do. Sometimes life isn’t pretty (and sometimes we are not either), yet we still have to live it, and we do. Life happens.

Gasshō
sat-lah
Fūryū

[Jundo]

Buddha in back of a trailer ...
.

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[Houzan]

During the worst part of my long COVID fatigue, I couldn’t even get out of bed. Lifting an arm was a struggle. There was no way to sit upright — so, in true Treeleaf spirit, I sat lying down. It was perfectly imperfect. Letting go of the traditional form somehow felt like truly embodying it — during the sit, and later, while simply living.

It was a difficult time. And, I must admit — perhaps the only truly hard time I’ve faced, which makes me feel both grateful and humbled. But Zazen helped me: to just be fatigued, to just lie there and sit, to just not-do. To feel sorrow over not being a present father, and to let that too just be. To let my wife carry the whole family — without fixing it, and without turning away.

Somehow, through all this, I could respond: pushing when needed, holding back when needed, and slowly recovering.

The rain was heavy. But the rain was just rain.

Gassho, Hōzan
satlah